Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

BEER AND THE WHEEL
History lesson!
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while the early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.

That's how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa. These two inventions were the foundation of modern civilization and together, were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Some men spent their days tracking and k*****g animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less sk**led at hunting (called 'vegetarians’ which was an early word meaning ‘bad h****r’) learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic v****g to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game h****rs, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.

That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute t***h of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks!


Einstein one of the smartest men of all time has this t***h to say concerning liberals.

reconreb Loc: America / Inglis Fla.

I think this story was found carved in stone along with the dead sea scrolls , yep had to have been ..

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Well I'd like to say yes to that Recon but it was a long time ago and I was probably drunk of my ass at the time. I am really glad that my ass even back then had auto pilot capabilities or I would have never gotten home from the brewery.

goofball Loc: timbucktoo

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁🍒🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

kankune Loc: Iowa

I'm simply laughing and enjoying the absolute t***h. And yes, I'll repost it just to piss off the libs. lol. Great post!!

Iamdjchrys Loc: Decatur, Texas

This is hysterical! Thanks for the post

reconreb Loc: America / Inglis Fla.

O.K. I'll take your word , auto pilot ? brewery ? been there ,,, Well someone told me I was there

Iamdjchrys Loc: Decatur, Texas

Maybe both lol

QuestGirl Loc: Jayhawk Country

Well, when you can't remember, what choice do you have but to take their word for it. Maybe you really weren't there, and someone just told you you were there. Just to mess with your head, 'cause they can. Because the human condition sucks.

Kazudy

Fido,you hit the nail on the head. Good job.

boatbob2

Lost dog,That was a great post,Im still laughing,,,,,,,

Iamdjchrys Loc: Decatur, Texas

This is, of course, unmitigated BULLS**T. I'm no liberal, and I love my grilled steaks...but really, conservatives tamed the Wild West? Spare me

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Yup they did and no you can't be spared, sorry. Oh and by the way get a sense of humor or STFU. Another oh by the way moment, you are as you speak and think so then just be the happy liberal and enjoy.

Iamdjchrys Loc: Decatur, Texas

This is still unmitigated BULLS**T. Me, a liberal? I don't think so

reconreb Loc: America / Inglis Fla.

You mean all those county fairs and goat roping's I attended do not count ?? damn !!!!