Dogs Write Letters To God..
Mar 16, 2017 14:51:20 #
OK, Mr. Smartypants. If dogs can't write then who wrote these? Huh? Yeah, see, can't answer that can you?
Dear God ... Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God ... When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God ... Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray & the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God ... If a dog barks his head off in the forest, & no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God ... If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God ... More meatballs & less spaghetti, please?
Dear God ... When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God ... Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon & stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the schnauzer across the street!
Dear God ... Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God ... We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields & frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
OK maybe those weren't all written by dogs, but it was definitely humans wrote these:
Reflections on life with dogs
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
Alright, alright. I'll put something in here for all you cat lovers too... (Geeez!)
My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent.
She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the g***mers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur h*****g down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).
When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats' fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the g***mer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what it is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and that is how her cat was returned to her.
She cried for a week...but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had."
Gas in car to go to g***mers $4.50
Cat car carrier $32.99
G***ming fee $80.00
Getting 'the look' from one seriously pissed off cat - Priceless!
Dear God ... Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God ... When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God ... Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray & the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God ... If a dog barks his head off in the forest, & no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God ... If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God ... More meatballs & less spaghetti, please?
Dear God ... When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God ... Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon & stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the schnauzer across the street!
Dear God ... Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God ... We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields & frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
OK maybe those weren't all written by dogs, but it was definitely humans wrote these:
Reflections on life with dogs
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
Alright, alright. I'll put something in here for all you cat lovers too... (Geeez!)
My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent.
She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the g***mers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur h*****g down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).
When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats' fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the g***mer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what it is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and that is how her cat was returned to her.
She cried for a week...but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had."
Gas in car to go to g***mers $4.50
Cat car carrier $32.99
G***ming fee $80.00
Getting 'the look' from one seriously pissed off cat - Priceless!
Mar 16, 2017 15:00:34 #
Mar 16, 2017 15:22:22 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
Larry the Legend wrote:
I can't resist!
Excellent way to lighten the mood and make us all smile. If you didn't smile you must have a heart filled with stone, or at least the worst case of heartburn you could have and still be alive.
Mar 16, 2017 18:46:21 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
OK, Mr. Smartypants. If dogs can't write then who... (show quote)
Thanks, I needed that.
My only regret about a dog is his life span. It's just not long enough.
Mar 17, 2017 13:54:03 #
Definately wish all my dogs,had lived as long as I have,there is NO better friend than a dog...
Mar 17, 2017 17:55:56 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
OK, Mr. Smartypants. If dogs can't write then who... (show quote)
That was priceless. The cat part ROFLMAO.
Mar 17, 2017 20:51:52 #
bahmer wrote:
That was priceless. The cat part ROFLMAO. img sr... (show quote)
Yeah, that tickled me too.
Mar 17, 2017 21:43:20 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
I can't resist!
You are totally whacked!!! keep it up!!!
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