slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

'I Danced With The Prince All Night,' by Bella D. Ball.
'Cinderella Walked Home From The Ball,' by Misty Buss.
'Jack Climbs The Beanstalk,' by Willie Makit.
'Into The Haunted Forest,' by Hugo First.
'The Night The Prince's Trousers Fell Down,' by Lucy Lastic.
'The King Who Couldn't Sleep,' by Liza Wake.
'Acrophobia Explained,' by Alfredo Hights.
'After The Onion Rings,' by Kay O'Pectate.
'All Alone,' by Saul E. Terry.
'Allegiance To The King,' by Neil Downe.
'Animal Illnesses,' by Ann Thrax.
'Animal Scents,' by Farrah Mone.
'Armed Heist,' by Robin Banks.
'Artificial Weightlessness,' by Andy Gravitee.
'Bad Investments,' by Les Riches.
'Battle Axes,' by Tommy Hawk.
'Better Mental Health,' by Cy Kosis.
'Chicago Gangs Of The 30s,' by Tommy Gunn.
'Children's Song Book,' by Skip Tumalu.
'Computer Memory,' by Meg Abight.
'Cosmetology,' by Rosie Cheeks.
'Desert Crossings,' by I.Rhoda Camel.
'Eating Disorders,' by Anna Rexia.
''Feelings,' by Cara Lott.
'Fat Lady,' by Ellie Funt.
'Fist Fight,' by Donny Brook.
'Get The Lead Our,' by Sheik Aleg.
'Grave Mistakes,' by Paul Barierre.
'Hawaiian Seduction,' by Komoniwannalaya.
'Hertz, Doesn't It,' by Lisa Carr.
'Houe Construction,' by Bill Jerome Holme.
'On A Crime Rampage,' by Robin Steele.
'I Like Fish,' by Ann Chovie.]'Do It Now!' by Igo Beaver.
'My Life As A Comic,' by Stan Dupp.
'Life Before Automobiles,' by Orson Buggy.
'A Long Walk,' by Miss D'Buss.
'Lot'sa Luck,' by Bess Twishes
'Crazy As A Loon,' by Cy Kotic.

pafret Loc: Northeast

These are a few books that should Never be written.

pafret Loc: Northeast

And here is a Government Department dev**ed to books that should not be written.
Books never written
Nihilism

Cover art of a book never written. The copyright status remains in question.

The Library of Congress exists to house a copy of every book published. However, there also exists a lesser-known institution which concerns itself primarily with books never written. This obscure lump of bureaucracy, quite appropriately, has no official name.

Books never written, one would think, are not normally something to be categorized. One would think that the number of books never written is potentially infinite, and therefore an institution dedicated to cataloging them would be impossible, but one would be wrong. The only books never written that are cataloged by the Library of Untitled, or 'Lou' (an unofficial name invented for the sake of clarity), are books that:

Ought to be written by somebody, or
Have not been written, and thank goodness for that.

Contents:
Books That Ought To Be Written
PrincipiaSynGen

Don't be fooled by the pretty picture; this book was never written.

Whenever an author writes a manuscript for a book that Lou believes should be written and published, that author receives a government grant. Sadly, the books never written that ought to be written are rarely written, because they tend to be difficult to write well.
Examples

Why Bad Things Happen To Good People, And How To Prevent It This book was never written by Richard T. McMelvin, primarily because Mr. McMelvin was never born. Some research has gone into trying to prevent accidents like this from happening in the future, but little progress has been made. However, there are still high hopes that someone else will write it, because it would be an awfully helpful book.

The T***h About The Little Light In Your Refrigerator Marcus E. Sucram never wrote this book, despite the obvious public interest in the issue. Shame on you, Marcus.

Reducing Human Stupidity For Dummies By far one of the most hoped-for books never written, Reducing Human Stupidity would create a world of thoughtful, creative, and intelligent people. Lou reportedly has over three dozen agents working full-time to find either the author or the manuscript for this book.
Books That, God Willing, Will Never Be Written

Employees of the Library of Untitled with a more morose attitude towards life usually work in this department, which houses some of the most horrifying, dreadful, perverse, awful, wretched, depraved, and just plain bad books never written.
Examples (but don't get any ideas)

Burning Hair For Fun And Profit Dustin Ferguson never wrote this book, after much persuasion by Lou agents. Even though worse books have been written, it was generally agreed that the world needed less burning hair, not more. A profitable market for burning hair is something nobody wants to see.

How To Embalm Yourself Using Only Breakfast Cereals And Seb Coe's Urine Seb Coe was prepared to have this book written in case he ever became an invalid and was unable to make a living as an athlete. For all our sakes, he became a politician instead.

List of one letter words starting with A Damn it.

A Dissertation On The Virtues Of Mooning Philosophy major Lawrence R. Munglefig graciously agreed to never write the final draft of this illustrated dissertation (and to burn the original copy) in exchange for a passing grade. Academic integrity may have been c*********d, but it was worth preserving the mental health of the populace, such as it is.

The Wonders of Hersheys No one ever wrote this book, mainly because not one Taster survived the experience. Nelson W. Noslen of Upper Sussex Buggering-on-the-Thames Stratfordboroughshire, UK, has apologized profusely to their families and given them a profusely apologetic box of Belgian chocolate.

Growing Locker Pot: A Field Guide To Success High School Stoners never wrote this book, probably because they were stoned at the time they weren't writing it. Also, most of them failed English class.
Copyright Laws Pertaining To Books Never Written
Copyright question mark

The copyright symbol for books never written.

Although the copyright status of books never written is rarely discussed, primarily because there's never any money involved, at least four authors of books never written have registered their never-written books to ensure no one else would take credit for them. Lou's copyright lawyers are notorious for becoming severely depressed after only a few months, so Congress has been looking at the possibility of passing legislation that would give the poor schmucks something to do.

There is evidence to suggest that, in 1932, a disgruntled non-author once tried to sue everyone else on the planet for copyright infringement of the book he didn't write, Sockless Acupunture. Although the transcript was never written and the details are therefore somewhat unclear, the non-author argued that the whole rest of humanity was getting as much credit as he was for not writing the book, when he should have been entitled to all of it. The case was resolved, but no legal precedent was set on account of the whole incident being "a distressing mark of shame for the justice system as a whole," according to the judge.
Why Were These Books Never Written?
Fund0170

The chief director of Lou, also named Lou by some cruel coincidence, is the greatest proponent of this valuable field of research.

Lou operates a think-tank dev**ed to figuring out exactly why certain books are never written. Although specific reasons, such as the non-existence of a book's would-be author, are recorded when they are known, Lou is interested in understanding the natural laws of the universe that determine whether or not a book will ever be written. Hopefully, this knowledge will enable Lou to better control which books are written and which books stay unwritten.

Not many theories have emerged from this research as of yet, except for one mathematical formula:

(\frac {23}{\sqrt {BookTitle}}) * e^? = 1

While undeniably true, no one knows how to apply this formula to anything, much less how to use it for Lou's intended purposes.

Hopefully, someday, someone will write a book to explain it.
See Also

Articles never written

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you

pafret Loc: Northeast

A few years ago my granddaughter came to me for advice on a reading project she had been assigned over the summer. She had a list of books and she had to select one to read and write an extensive analysis. She knew I was a voracious reader and wanted to know which book would be best for her to tackle. She had a list of twenty books and I had read nineteen of them.

We discussed each book and settled on one that appealed to her; in the course of that conversation we got on the topic of books, which are seminal, and essentially are necessary to be culturally literate. The classics, social struggle, history and mythology. We also talked about mythical Books such as Lovecraft's "Necronomicon", The Book of "Azaroth", and the "King In Yellow" or Smith’s Hyperborean “Book of Eibon”, with regard to their use in literature.

I gave her quite a few suggestions for her reading list and did some further research on the topic. I generated a list of books that she should get around to reading at some time in her life and tried to organize them in order of greatest utility. In my research, I came across the Library of Congress Department, called Library Of Untitled (Lou) and included that as a spoof that she might enjoy and that is where all the above originated.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

haha! I'll look for those titles. Here's a few in my library:

"The answer to everything" by Ima Dumass.
" how to c***t on your spouse and get away with it" by Uri N. Trouble.
" the art of the steal " by Donna J. Trump.
"physics made easy" by Flun Ked Moth

Justsss Loc: Wisconsin

Just a few more books:
I'm a Man by Michele Obama

I'm a Muslum Woman by Barry Soetoro

I'm the Puppet Master by Valarie Jerrett.

Mikeyavelli

I Love Obama by
Hugh Jhazole

badbobby Loc: texas

thought your post explained it
oh well
never mind

THUNDERBOLT

I just had to hit reply to save.
I'll read later when I stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thunderbolt