Squiddiddler Loc: Phoenix

A priest, a nun and a rabbi, a lawyer and a doctor walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says, “What is this? Some kind of a joke?”

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going into surgery. as she lays there, a man in a white coat comes by, lifts up the sheet, and then leaves. This happens a second time. The third time this happens, she says, "doctor, am I going into surgery soon?" The man replies, "Don't ask me, lady. I'm just a painter!"

[]

Tom's scrotum

The Best Story of the Year:
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible
bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was
excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could
hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the
pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the
children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We
prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they
were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap
wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation
cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery
performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, thank the
Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his
scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the
word is sternum."





A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah.” The other cow says, “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

THUNDERBOLT

Here ya go...Speaking of sex...It's all how you look at it.



The husband rushes home and tells his wife to take off her panties.
Then he continues, "Now pull up your dress and sit up on the dining room table, then please grab your legs and lift up in the air and spread them apart." She performs all of his requests.
The husband then sits down on a chair in front of his wife and stares directly between her thighs.

He says,"Well, Jimmy was right!"
Wife:"Jimmy was right about what?"


"It does look the front end of an Edsel."
ThunderBolt

badbobby Loc: texas

Armageddun Loc: The show me state

Snotty Receptionist



<man

Last Friday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam.


Of course, I was a bit on edge because all my friends have

either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As I approached the receptionist's desk, I noticed that she was a

large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said, YES, I HAVE YOUR

NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to

look at me, a now very embarrassed man.

But as usual, I recovered

quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A S*X C****E OPERATION, BUT I

DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.

The room erupted in applause.

DON'T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS.


WE'LL WIN.

EN Submarine Qualified Loc: Wisconsin East coast

Squiddiddler Loc: Phoenix

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

“What’s the matter?” he was asked.

He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be alright.”

“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”

“She wasn’t talking to me,” the man replied. “She was talking to the doctor.”

A man walks into a cardiologist’s office….

-Man: “Excuse me. Can you help me? I think I’m a moth.”

-Doctor: “You don’t need a cardiologist. You need a psychiatrist.”

-Man: “Yes, I know.”

-Doctor: “So why’d you come in here if you need a psychiatrist?”

-Man: “Well, the light was on…….

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

TWO MEDICAL STUDENTS AND THE OLD MAN

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.

Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki

Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him

and one of the students said to him:

"We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think its Peltry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought....... But you are wrong."

The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought....... But you are wrong."

So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

The old man said, "I thought it was a Fart........ ............. But I was wrong, too!"

boatbob2

Thunderbolt,IF, your wife reads about your EDSEL joke,I will donate to your funeral expenses.

badbobby Loc: texas

lmao