Groundbreaking study: The 7 kinds of sex
Jan 31, 2017 14:07:17 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
The results of some very recent research from a renowned and illustrious educational institution have conclusively and shockingly revealed that, contrary to all expectations and hopes, there are 7 kinds of sex. Here are the findings of this groundbreaking study:
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex
Which means you get nun in the morning, nun in the afternoon, and nun at night.
The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least:
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself!
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex
Which means you get nun in the morning, nun in the afternoon, and nun at night.
The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least:
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself!
Jan 31, 2017 14:42:19 #
Jan 31, 2017 14:53:23 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Quakerwidow wrote:
They left out waiting for the right one to come along....
True enough, ma'am...but, this is meant to be humorous...at least, more so than serious.
BTW, I have "the right one."
Jan 31, 2017 15:06:27 #
Ah, she's listening!
slatten49 wrote:
True enough, ma'am...but, this is meant to be humorous...at least, more so than serious.
BTW, I have "the right one."
BTW, I have "the right one."
Jan 31, 2017 15:59:09 #
Jan 31, 2017 18:51:04 #
slatten49 wrote:
The results of some very recent research from a re... (show quote)
Done all but 6, and 7!
On #6, I took her to court, and watched her screw herself!😂😂
I'm not old enough for #7 yet.😆
Jan 31, 2017 19:04:43 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
archie bunker wrote:
Done all but 6, and 7!
On #6, I took her to court, and watched her screw herself!😂😂
I'm not old enough for #7 yet.😆
On #6, I took her to court, and watched her screw herself!😂😂
I'm not old enough for #7 yet.😆
I will assume you are not implying anything...to anyone.
Jan 31, 2017 19:14:12 #
slatten49 wrote:
I will assume you are not implying anything...to anyone.
No implication intended Slat!☺
Just trying to be a straight shooter, and let you know that I'm too young for #7!😈😈
Jan 31, 2017 19:25:17 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
archie bunker wrote:
No implication intended Slat!☺
Just trying to be a straight shooter, and let you know that I'm too young for #7!😈😈
Just trying to be a straight shooter, and let you know that I'm too young for #7!😈😈
I resemble that implication, whippersnapper.
Jan 31, 2017 19:33:38 #
slatten49 wrote:
I resemble that implication, whippersnapper.
I'm so young that I only sound like a bowl of Rice Crispies for about a half hour after I get out of bed!😃😃
Jan 31, 2017 19:37:34 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
archie bunker wrote:
I'm so young that I only sound like a bowl of Rice Crispies for about a half hour after I get out of bed!😃😃
A bowl of Rice Krispies...sometimes, is the only conversation I get in the morning.
Jan 31, 2017 19:51:16 #
slatten49 wrote:
A bowl of Rice Krispies...sometimes, is the only conversation I get in the morning.
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!
In my world, CRACKLE seems to be the loudest. 
Middle child syndrome, I guess. The other two do their thing, and then go about their business. CRACKLE is always demanding to be heard!
Jan 31, 2017 19:55:52 #
archie bunker wrote:
Done all but 6, and 7!
On #6, I took her to court, and watched her screw herself!😂😂
I'm not old enough for #7 yet.😆
On #6, I took her to court, and watched her screw herself!😂😂
I'm not old enough for #7 yet.😆
You talk too much, mister...😂😂😂😅
Other than that, I ain't say enough nothen'😷🙃but I am...🤔, hehehe
Jan 31, 2017 19:57:20 #
slatten49 wrote:
The results of some very recent research from a re... (show quote)
Considering how much you enjoy food, I bet you Nevah got out of the kitchen...😁😂😊😂
Jan 31, 2017 19:59:40 #
lindajoy wrote:
You talk too much, mister...😂😂😂😅
Other than that, I ain't say enough nothen'😷🙃but I am...🤔, hehehe
Other than that, I ain't say enough nothen'😷🙃but I am...🤔, hehehe
Young enough to remember all of the above? He he he 😈
😨
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