Henny Youngman jokes...
Jan 29, 2017 17:03:42 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
God, know I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll k**l me.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd k**l me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he k**led himself.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
My wife dresses to k**l. She cooks the same way.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
She's a bighearted girl with hips to match.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
God, know I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll k**l me.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd k**l me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he k**led himself.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
My wife dresses to k**l. She cooks the same way.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
She's a bighearted girl with hips to match.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Jan 30, 2017 18:22:18 #
slatten49 wrote:
If you're going to do something tonight that you'l... (show quote)
he could really sling them oneliners out
gonna try that trash plan
Jan 30, 2017 18:30:09 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
he could really sling them oneliners out
gonna try that trash plan
gonna try that trash plan
With all of your Swabbie trash talk, you should take advantage of that plan.
Jan 30, 2017 18:37:44 #
slatten49 wrote:
With all of your Swabbie trash talk, you should take advantage of that plan.
all in self defense
from the rubbish you Jarheads put out
Jan 30, 2017 18:53:55 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
all in self defense
from the rubbish you Jarheads put out
from the rubbish you Jarheads put out
Moi
No way, Squid.
Jan 31, 2017 13:04:36 #
slatten49 wrote:
Moi
No way, Squid.
No way, Squid.
exactly what I meant
---rubbish
guess that's all u got tho
Feb 1, 2017 22:32:34 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
badbobby wrote:
exactly what I meant
---rubbish
guess that's all u got tho
---rubbish
guess that's all u got tho
Guess again, Water Lily.
Feb 2, 2017 15:01:08 #
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