eagleye13 Loc: Fl

THOUGHTS BY ’DUCKY’

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ --- She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Marriage changes passion. --- Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.


I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.

If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!


When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping.’ --- Now I just ‘chunky dunk.’

Don’t argue with an i***t; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.


Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over? AMEN!

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!


Wouldn’t you know it... --- Brain cells come and brain cells go, But FAT cells live forever.


Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!


And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Quakerwidow Loc: Chestertown, MD

Thanks

4430 Loc: Little Egypt ** Southern Illinory

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

This has been presented a number of times on OPP. But, that's okay, as it is always funny and pertinent

BTW, one does not have to swear on the Bible, as options for swearing/vowing to tell the t***h in court are acceptable. After all, what good is swearing on the Bible for atheists or those of a different religious affiliation?

eagleye13 Loc: Fl

Good points 49.
They should all be hung by the thumbs to get the t***h out of them! LOL

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Agreed But, if proven to have lied, perjury is a reasonable charge for their impudence.

eagleye13 Loc: Fl

Hey, 49!!!
How did we end up on the same page?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

We often have, my friend. It can often be a mistake to have preconceived notions as to my slant on various subjects. I am capable of leaning in all directions...depending upon the topic. Since my Dad was an attorney, I have great respect for our judicial system. This does not mean that I have not disagreed with the outcomes of many trials or rulings on decisions...at any level.

eagleye13 Loc: Fl

I was saying that in jest

You do get it right many times.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Both of us do, but not always...according to the other, at least.

badbobby Loc: texas

tx ee
all good