She Was a Marine...
Jan 21, 2017 16:00:31 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
She Was a Marine
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, k**led four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she k**led the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
"Don't F*** with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories !!!
Once a Marine, Always a Marine!!
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, k**led four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she k**led the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
"Don't F*** with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories !!!
Once a Marine, Always a Marine!!
Jan 21, 2017 16:14:29 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
She Was a Marine br br The teacher gave her fif... (show quote)
Beautiful absolutely beautiful.
Jan 21, 2017 16:34:25 #
Jan 21, 2017 16:57:21 #
[quote=Don G. Dinsdale]She Was a Marine
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, k**led four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she k**led the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
"Don't F*** with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories !!!
Once a Marine, Always a Marine!
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, k**led four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she k**led the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
"Don't F*** with Mommy when she's been drinking."
I love these touching stories !!!
Once a Marine, Always a Marine!
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
She Was a Marine br br The teacher gave her fif... (show quote)
Whooo hoooooo Semper Fi !!
Jan 21, 2017 18:31:00 #
robmull
Loc: florida
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
She Was a Marine br br The teacher gave her fif... (show quote)
"From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli!!!" THEY'RE BACK!!! "JIHADING" AGAIN!!! Hummmmmmmmmmm. SEMPER FI, back at you, from an ole swabby!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PRESIDENT "45" DONALD J. TRUMP!!!
Jan 21, 2017 19:31:15 #
Good Don
My Marine buds are going to howl at this one.
My Marine buds are going to howl at this one.
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
She Was a Marine br br The teacher gave her fif... (show quote)
Jan 21, 2017 19:55:18 #
When I was a kid we had a big Rottweiler cross we named Bess. One day one of my friends decides it's a good idea to taunt her by tapping her on the nose and pulling his hand away when she reacted. After about 6 or 8 taps, each time garnering a slightly more pronounced reaction than the last, I asked him if he knew why we called her Bess. Of course he had no idea so I explained that it was short for 'Bess Left Alone'. He thought that was funny and went back to taunting her with his hand. Well, I tried...
I'm watching this and thinking how sorry he's going to be when, just like that, she just popped up and caught his hand in her mouth. His whole hand. His wrist was caught between her canine teeth so the only way he was getting his hand back was for her to open her mouth and let him go. She didn't bite down on him or make any aggressive moves, just held him there, with this really evil look in her eye. Every time he tried to get his hand back she growled (she had a really scary growl) and bit down a little harder. She was teaching him a lesson and the poor guy didn't know what to do. If he tried to get his hand back, he thought she'd chew it off (and she could, too.), but just sitting like that was uncomfortable, and Bess was looking at him with this really, I mean really evil look in her eyes. I pretended not to notice what was going on, laughing my ass off to myself.
Finally, he got scared enough to ask me very nicely to get her off him. I kinda laughed and asked him again if he now knew why we called her Bess. Oh, yes, he was very familiar with the idea of just leaving Bess alone, now would I please just get her off (like, pretty please, with sugar on)? OK, so I just looked over and said "Bess, put him down". She let him go and laid back down again, just like that. He sat there looking at his hand, looking at the dog, and rubbing his wrist. That was the only time I ever saw him totally lost for words. I just patted her on the head, gave her a treat and told her what a good dog she was.
The moral of the story? 'Bess Left Alone' is, really, Best. Left. Alone.
I'm watching this and thinking how sorry he's going to be when, just like that, she just popped up and caught his hand in her mouth. His whole hand. His wrist was caught between her canine teeth so the only way he was getting his hand back was for her to open her mouth and let him go. She didn't bite down on him or make any aggressive moves, just held him there, with this really evil look in her eye. Every time he tried to get his hand back she growled (she had a really scary growl) and bit down a little harder. She was teaching him a lesson and the poor guy didn't know what to do. If he tried to get his hand back, he thought she'd chew it off (and she could, too.), but just sitting like that was uncomfortable, and Bess was looking at him with this really, I mean really evil look in her eyes. I pretended not to notice what was going on, laughing my ass off to myself.
Finally, he got scared enough to ask me very nicely to get her off him. I kinda laughed and asked him again if he now knew why we called her Bess. Oh, yes, he was very familiar with the idea of just leaving Bess alone, now would I please just get her off (like, pretty please, with sugar on)? OK, so I just looked over and said "Bess, put him down". She let him go and laid back down again, just like that. He sat there looking at his hand, looking at the dog, and rubbing his wrist. That was the only time I ever saw him totally lost for words. I just patted her on the head, gave her a treat and told her what a good dog she was.
The moral of the story? 'Bess Left Alone' is, really, Best. Left. Alone.
Jan 22, 2017 10:27:22 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
She Was a Marine br br The teacher gave her fif... (show quote)
Thanks Don, great start for the day. I'll be smiling well into the evening!
SEMPER FI
Jan 22, 2017 13:46:04 #
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