Airport Bar...
Dec 22, 2016 18:12:41 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
Bob was standing at the bar in Terminal 3 at the Dulles Airport when a small Chinese guy came in, stood next to him, and started drinking a beer.
Bob asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Jujitsu?”
"No I don't,” he said. And why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"
"No", Bob said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little s**t."
Bob asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Jujitsu?”
"No I don't,” he said. And why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"
"No", Bob said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little s**t."
Dec 22, 2016 18:51:59 #
peter11937
Loc: NYS
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Bob was standing at the bar in Terminal 3 at the Dulles Airport when a small Chinese guy came in, stood next to him, and started drinking a beer.
Bob asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Jujitsu?”
"No I don't,” he said. And why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"
"No", Bob said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little s**t."
Bob asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Jujitsu?”
"No I don't,” he said. And why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"
"No", Bob said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little s**t."
Dec 22, 2016 19:14:28 #
School Lunch
Two Chinese exchange students arrive at the university cafeteria for lunch and ask what was available for lunch and were told there were pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs and fries.
They each order a hot dog and sit down at a table to eat.
After one unwraps the tin foil off his hot dog he looks at the hot dog and asks the other "So what part of the dog did you get?"
Two Chinese exchange students arrive at the university cafeteria for lunch and ask what was available for lunch and were told there were pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs and fries.
They each order a hot dog and sit down at a table to eat.
After one unwraps the tin foil off his hot dog he looks at the hot dog and asks the other "So what part of the dog did you get?"
Dec 22, 2016 19:15:56 #
Currency Exchange
A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300.
The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
Drumroll, please!
A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300.
The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
Drumroll, please!
Dec 22, 2016 19:23:02 #
Larry the Legend wrote:
Currency Exchange
A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300.
The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
Drumroll, please!
A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300.
The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
Drumroll, please!
Dec 22, 2016 19:25:47 #
OK, last one, I swear:
Chinese Sex:
There was an American man who lived in China for a while and while he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom.
He returned to America and one morning a few weeks later he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis. The man freaked out.
He went to the doctor...
The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests."
So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results.
The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news. You have a disease called pongolion HP. It is very uncommon here and we know little about it. I'm sorry sir but we will have to amputate your penis."
The man was horrified, so...
He went to a Chinese doctor thinking he would get a second opinion.
The doctor said "oh yes, pongolion HP, vewy ware. Yes." Said the Chinese Doctor.
"The American doctor wants to amputate my penis."
"Stupid Amewican doctah, make more money that way, no need amputate."
"Oh thank God" said the man.
"Yes, wait 2 weeks, fall off by itself."
Chinese Sex:
There was an American man who lived in China for a while and while he was there he had a lot of sex and never used a condom.
He returned to America and one morning a few weeks later he woke up and noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis. The man freaked out.
He went to the doctor...
The doctor said "I have never seen anything like this before. We will need to run some tests."
So they ran some tests and he said come back in 3 days for your test results.
The man came back in 3 days and the doctor said "I have some bad news. You have a disease called pongolion HP. It is very uncommon here and we know little about it. I'm sorry sir but we will have to amputate your penis."
The man was horrified, so...
He went to a Chinese doctor thinking he would get a second opinion.
The doctor said "oh yes, pongolion HP, vewy ware. Yes." Said the Chinese Doctor.
"The American doctor wants to amputate my penis."
"Stupid Amewican doctah, make more money that way, no need amputate."
"Oh thank God" said the man.
"Yes, wait 2 weeks, fall off by itself."
Dec 22, 2016 19:35:10 #
Chinese Torture:
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition: If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty lame," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition: If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty lame," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
Dec 22, 2016 19:43:34 #
peter11937
Loc: NYS
A man developed a problem passing gas....it made a noise that sounded like HONDA. Every time. He saw several white MD's who could not figure it out, so they sent him to an Oriental doctor who immediately saw the problem, the man imbibed in Absinthe. The man confirmed this and the Oriental doctor told him that if he stopped drinking the noise would stop He said "Absinthe makes the fart go HONDA!"
Dec 22, 2016 20:10:50 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
You Forgot Drum Roll... Don D.
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Larry the Legend wrote:
OK, last one, I swear: br br Chinese Sex: br br ... (show quote)
Dec 22, 2016 20:44:47 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
You Forgot Drum Roll
Wasn't THAT good.....
Dec 22, 2016 21:01:22 #
Dec 22, 2016 21:20:13 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
All Funny... Don D.
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Larry the Legend wrote:
Wasn't THAT good.....
Dec 23, 2016 12:45:45 #
Verse:
Chinese couple going wild, trying to have pure white Child, on the Job without delay sideways is the Chinese way.
Baby born to their delight little child is pure white, you wonder where the yellow went he brushed his balls with Pepsodent. (Bad oldie.)
Chinese couple going wild, trying to have pure white Child, on the Job without delay sideways is the Chinese way.
Baby born to their delight little child is pure white, you wonder where the yellow went he brushed his balls with Pepsodent. (Bad oldie.)
Dec 23, 2016 19:20:51 #
Dec 23, 2016 23:39:33 #
A Chinese, a Priest, a Rabi and a Lawyer go into a bar.
The Bartender looks up and says,
"Is this some kind of a joke."
The Bartender looks up and says,
"Is this some kind of a joke."
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