Admittedly the little Penguins in Santa suits were very cute but this cuteness conceals a very serious problem that I have written about in these posts before To whit:

Penguin Generated G****l W*****g

I believe Adele and Emperor Penguins cause g****l w*****g because their dark Tuxedo backs diminish the Antarctic albedo and cause excess absorption of Solar Energy. This is proven by the increasing rate of recession of the Antarctic Ice Pack as amply documented by Al Gore, MSNBC and other such meteorological experts. The ethical implications forbid our exterminating these inoffensive creatures and the potential loss of this species mandates that our efforts to reduce c*****e c****e cannot be harmful in any way to the Penguin Population.

I propose we mount a multi-nation effort to trap and spray paint each Penguin's back with a biodegradable, light-reflective paint. Of course, this will have to be a permanent effort since the paint will wash off when they go into the sea. While this constant effort is unfortunate, it will satisfy PETA requirements. No penguins will be harmed in this endeavor.

It will initially require perhaps 50,000 men with trappers, painters, support personnel, logistics, t***sport, and a new bureaucracy in Washington DC, the Dept. of Albedo Amelioration. This will be a new Cabinet Level department; it will have authority over all dark surfaces in the country, and will issue regulations for shine enhancement or abatement of shine as needed. The Secretary of this department will be a political appointee, with the responsibility of shining us on or not, as required.

This department will also Interface with a new UN Committee, UNSIAA, United Nations Shine Interdiction and Amelioration (pronounced un-see-ya). This Committee will have the authority to either increase or decrease shine as needed in various locales around the world. Their expert consultants will determine the specific actions required and their regulations will carry the force of law with the signators of the Kyota agreements.

In addition, with the advent of digital photography the ubiquitous film kiosks (UFK), which existed in shopping mall parking lots everywhere, have become useless and abandoned in many cases. These can be re-purposed as Penguin Paint Kiosks (PPK).

This has many advantages; first it supports the UN Agenda21 sustainability provisions. Second it removes unsightly blight. Third, it will provide entrepreneurs an opportunity to create companies for the purposes of refurbishing these UFK shacks into PPK. Suitable contracts can be let by the government, to relatives of current pols, who will do the refurbishing at a cost of four to five hundred thousand dollars, for each UFK to PPK conversion. This will aid in job creation, which will benefit our burgeoning immigrant population.

A Penguin Snack Industry (PSI) will then be created. This will facilitate conditioning the Penguins to Queue up at the PPK (Penguin Paint Kiosks) in order to get the treats from PSI, while they are being painted. Suitable trainers, Animal Dieticians and Penguin Psychologists will be needed for the PSI conditioning effort. Penguins seem to be well organized so the need for community organizers does not exist. However, the workers will need suitable union representation for collective bargaining. This can safely be left to the private sector and will entail no cost to the government.

We face great danger from the vicissitudes of c*****e c****e induced by these Penguins. We must act on this quickly; the nation cannot afford to fall behind in the PPK acquisition race. The ravages of Penguin induced c*****e c****e demand a maximum immediate effort. Our nations safety and security cannot take second place to other nations who will attempt to monopolize UFK conversion to PPK.

To pay for all of this, let us impose a nation-wide tax on any t***saction, whose proceeds will be administered by the Clinton family fund, under the auspices of the UN. Other nations will see fit to make donations to the Hill-Bill-Chelsey fund since this matter is of worldwide import. Who is more experienced or expert in seeing that such funds are properly allocated and effective in achieving these goals?

Please apply my grant moneys from the Nobel Prize to the Society for the Preservation of the Curly Tailed Ringgit.

Admittedly the little Penguins in Santa suits were very cute but this cuteness conceals a very serious problem that I have written about in these posts before To whit:

Penguin Generated G****l W*****g

I believe Adele and Emperor Penguins cause g****l w*****g because their dark Tuxedo backs diminish the Antarctic albedo and cause excess absorption of Solar Energy. This is proven by the increasing rate of recession of the Antarctic Ice Pack as amply documented by Al Gore, MSNBC and other such meteorological experts. The ethical implications forbid our exterminating these inoffensive creatures and the potential loss of this species mandates that our efforts to reduce c*****e c****e cannot be harmful in any way to the Penguin Population.

I propose we mount a multi-nation effort to trap and spray paint each Penguin's back with a biodegradable, light-reflective paint. Of course, this will have to be a permanent effort since the paint will wash off when they go into the sea. While this constant effort is unfortunate, it will satisfy PETA requirements. No penguins will be harmed in this endeavor.

It will initially require perhaps 50,000 men with trappers, painters, support personnel, logistics, t***sport, and a new bureaucracy in Washington DC, the Dept. of Albedo Amelioration. This will be a new Cabinet Level department; it will have authority over all dark surfaces in the country, and will issue regulations for shine enhancement or abatement of shine as needed. The







Secretary of this department will be a political appointee, with the responsibility of shining us on or not, as required.



Yes paf
these birds left unattended are definitely a dire threat to our planets warming trend
I volunteer myself as one of these overworked sprayers
since there seems to be a lot of money to be had
since I am not a relative of any politician,that may not be feasible
but it's certainly something to aim for,in my declining years

This department will also Interface with a new UN Committee, UNSIAA, United Nations Shine Interdiction and Amelioration (pronounced un-see-ya). This Committee will have the authority to either increase or decrease shine as needed in various locales around the world. Their expert consultants will determine the specific actions required and their regulations will carry the force of law with the signators of the Kyota agreements.

In addition, with the advent of digital photography the ubiquitous film kiosks (UFK), which existed in shopping mall parking lots everywhere, have become useless and abandoned in many cases. These can be re-purposed as Penguin Paint Kiosks (PPK).

This has many advantages; first it supports the UN Agenda21 sustainability provisions. Second it removes unsightly blight. Third, it will provide entrepreneurs an opportunity to create companies for the purposes of refurbishing these UFK shacks into PPK. Suitable contracts can be let by the government, to relatives of current pols, who will do the refurbishing at a cost of four to five hundred thousand dollars, for each UFK to PPK conversion. This will aid in job creation, which will benefit our burgeoning immigrant population.

A Penguin Snack Industry (PSI) will then be created. This will facilitate conditioning the Penguins to Queue up at the PPK (Penguin Paint Kiosks) in order to get the treats from PSI, while they are being painted. Suitable trainers, Animal Dieticians and Penguin Psychologists will be needed for the PSI conditioning effort. Penguins seem to be well organized so the need for community organizers does not exist. However, the workers will need suitable union representation for collective bargaining. This can safely be left to the private sector and will entail no cost to the government.

We face great danger from the vicissitudes of c*****e c****e induced by these Penguins. We must act on this quickly; the nation cannot afford to fall behind in the PPK acquisition race. The ravages of Penguin induced c*****e c****e demand a maximum immediate effort. Our nations safety and security cannot take second place to other nations who will attempt to monopolize UFK conversion to PPK.

To pay for all of this, let us impose a nation-wide tax on any t***saction, whose proceeds will be administered by the Clinton family fund, under the auspices of the UN. Other nations will see fit to make donations to the Hill-Bill-Chelsey fund since this matter is of worldwide import. Who is more experienced or expert in seeing that such funds are properly allocated and effective in achieving these goals?

Please apply my grant moneys from the Nobel Prize to the Society for the Preservation of the Curly Tailed Ringgit.