A little old lady pays her doctor a visit.
Dec 9, 2016 08:44:29 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
A little old lady goes to the doctor.
He asks her what seems to be the problem. She says: "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell, and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week, the lady returns for her follow-up appointment.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly..."
The doctor says: "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
He asks her what seems to be the problem. She says: "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell, and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week, the lady returns for her follow-up appointment.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly..."
The doctor says: "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Dec 9, 2016 09:02:53 #
A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with: "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price."
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with: "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price."
Dec 9, 2016 09:31:36 #
Dec 9, 2016 11:51:07 #
slatten49 wrote:
A little old lady goes to the doctor. br br He as... (show quote)
When Obama leaves the White House, they will have to fumigate the whole place. Them there Afro-American farts is what kept theme there terrorists from blowing up the White House. Obama had at least one good thing blowing out the end of his Black Ass.
Dec 9, 2016 12:04:29 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
samtheyank wrote:
When Obama leaves the White House, they will have to fumigate the whole place. Them there Afro-American farts is what kept theme there terrorists from blowing up the White House. Obama had at least one good thing blowing out the end of his Black Ass.
Pardon me, Sam...but, as it states above, this is supposed to be "General Chit-Chat (non-political talk)."
Dec 9, 2016 12:15:30 #
slatten49 wrote:
Pardon me, Sam...but, as it states above, this is supposed to be "General Chit-Chat (non-political talk)."
slatten49,
Haven't you ever heard of the First Amendment? I will say no more. Jezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Dec 9, 2016 12:23:28 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
samtheyank wrote:
slatten49,
Haven't you ever heard of the First Amendment? I will say no more. Jezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Haven't you ever heard of the First Amendment? I will say no more. Jezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Of course I have, Sam. But, the First Amendment doesn't take into consideration common courtesy and/or respect of ground-rules for public forums.
"Laws (rules) control the lessor man...right conduct controls the greater one."[Mark Twain] With that, I will say no more. Jeeez. 
Dec 9, 2016 12:40:07 #
slatten49 wrote:
Of course I have, Sam. But, the First Amendment doesn't take into consideration common courtesy and/or respect of ground-rules for public forums. "Laws (rules) control the lessor man...right conduct controls the greater one."[Mark Twain] With that, I will say no more. Jeeez.
"Laws (rules) control the lessor man...right conduct controls the greater one."[Mark Twain] With that, I will say no more. Jeeez. OK! You win! TOUCHÉ! Merry Christmas!
Dec 9, 2016 12:52:21 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
samtheyank wrote:
OK! You win! TOUCHÉ! Merry Christmas!
Well...I will say more.
It was not my intent to "win," Sam. It's just that I need to escape the vitriol that often accompanies political discussions. It is my primary reason for posting on 'general chit-chat'...especially the humorous threads. I apologize if I seemed heavy-handed. And, I also wish for you (and ALL), a very MERRY CHRISTMAS
Now, I hope this exchange does not ruin what I thought was a funny joke thread.
Dec 9, 2016 12:58:35 #
slatten49 wrote:
Well...I will say more. img src="https://static.on... (show quote)
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! We are both on the same team and I know where you are coming from. Again! Merry Christmas Brother!
Dec 9, 2016 13:48:48 #
samtheyank wrote:
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! We are both on the same team and I know where you are coming from. Again! Merry Christmas Brother!
Putrid gas notwithstanding, a Happy Chanukah to all.
Dec 9, 2016 14:03:17 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
PoppaGringo wrote:
Putrid gas notwithstanding, a Happy Chanukah to all.
I will assume that bagels and lox leave no "putrid gas," Salty.
Happy Chanukah, my friend.
Dec 9, 2016 14:25:07 #
slatten49 wrote:
I will assume that bagels and lox leave no "putrid gas," Salty.
Happy Chanukah, my friend.
Happy Chanukah, my friend.
Absolutely not.
Dec 10, 2016 12:39:18 #
slatten49 wrote:
A little old lady goes to the doctor. br br He as... (show quote)
ho ho ho--Merry christmas
my Jarheaded friend
Dec 10, 2016 12:42:26 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
Putrid gas notwithstanding, a Happy Chanukah to all.
and happy Chanukah to you
my Jarheaded friend
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