The three kick rule
Dec 1, 2016 20:35:11 #
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa.
Eventually, he shot down a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over it, the elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "You know what? Take the duck."
Eventually, he shot down a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over it, the elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "You know what? Take the duck."
Dec 1, 2016 21:21:06 #
Nutter
Loc: Fly Over Zone
Video of Buddy Hackett telling of the duck story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdzRA2uJ5Zw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdzRA2uJ5Zw
Dec 2, 2016 13:14:23 #
Have you heard the story about the same farmer,when an agent of the B*M (no,not that B*M) showed up,and told the farmer he was going to check his land,the farmer said ok,but dont go into that section,the b*m agent pulled out his badge,and told the farmer,i'll go anywhere I want,im an agent of the US Government,the agent jumped over the fence and was walking to the far end of the pasture,when the old bull,stopped grazing,and started chasing the agent,the agent yelled to to the farmer,HELP,the bull is going to stomp me,the farmer told the agent,QUICK,show him your badge......
Dec 2, 2016 13:14:33 #
Have you heard the story about the same farmer,when an agent of the B*M (no,not that B*M) showed up,and told the farmer he was going to check his land,the farmer said ok,but dont go into that section,the b*m agent pulled out his badge,and told the farmer,i'll go anywhere I want,im an agent of the US Government,the agent jumped over the fence and was walking to the far end of the pasture,when the old bull,stopped grazing,and started chasing the agent,the agent yelled to to the farmer,HELP,the bull is going to stomp me,the farmer told the agent,QUICK,show him your badge......
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