Big Bass

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,

>>> particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."

>>> Lynn Lavner

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

>>> George Burns

>>>

>>> "Women might be able to f**e orgasms. But men can f**e a whole

>>> relationship."

>>> Sharon Stone

>>>

>>>

>>> "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf

>>> is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

>>> Tiger Woods

>>>

>>>

>>> "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b***h."

>>> Jack Nicholson

>>>

>>>

>>> "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he

>>> never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

>>> Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

>>>

>>> "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's g*****ls

>>> through his wallet."

>>> Robin Williams

>>>

>>> "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing

>>> in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say

>>> that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

>>> Robert De Niro

>>>

>>>

>>> "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are

>>> having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe

>>> swelling. So what's the problem?"

>>> Dustin Hoffman

>>>

>>> "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know

>>> what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked!"

>>> Jerry Seinfeld

>>>

>>> "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough

>>> blood to run one at a time."

>>> Robin Williams

>>>

>>>

>>> "It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."

>>> Joan Rivers

>>>

>>> Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money

>>> can buy.

>>> Steve Martin

>>>

>>>

>>> You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little

>>> things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay

>>> good money for later in life.

>>> Elmo Phillips

>>>

>>>

>>> "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

>>> Oscar Wilde

Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

How to tell if your wife loves you more than your dog:
Lock them both in the garage and go out for a few hours. When you get back, see which one is happiest to see you.

My wife told me to tie her to the bed and do anything I wanted. So I tied her up good and solid then went out to the bar.

Rodeo sex:
Get coupled up real good and whisper in her ear that this is how her sister likes it too, then see how long you can hang on for.

A new scientific study discovered that women with extra weight usually live longer than men who point it out.

Why did God create Adam first and Eve second? Because he wasn’t interested in listening to anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Big Bass

All great! Thanks. One more:
Q: Why does the husband usually die before the wife?
A: Because he wants to. Happy Thanksgiving!

Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

Husband and wife in Canada for vacation. Wife wants to bring a friendly skunk home that she had gotten attached to. One problem, she can't just waltz through customs with a skunk. Husband thinks for a minute then says "well, stick it up your skirt". She says "what about the smell"? Husband shrugs his shoulders, "well, if it dies, it dies".

THUNDERBOLT

Here ya go,
ThunderBolt

Big Bass

You bad - but hilarious.

Big Bass

2 more great ones! Thanks!