slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

As he sat down, the waitress came over and asked for their orders.

The man said, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." Then he turned to the ostrich and asked, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," said the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returned with the order saying, "That will be $12.80 please." So the man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich came again and the man said, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." Then the ostrich said, "I'll have the same."

Once again the man reached into his pocket and paid with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two entered again.

"The usual?" asked the waitress. "No, it is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," said the man. "Same for me," said the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress came with the order and said, "That will be $28.62." Once again the man pulled the exact change out of his pocket and placed it on the table.

The waitress couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," said the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" said the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," said the man.

The waitress asked, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighed, paused, and answered, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Loki Loc: Georgia

Caveat Emptor

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

What cave is empty

Loki Loc: Georgia

It's one of those Latin sayings: "Let the buyer beware." Or something like that. You know how those old Latinos used to talk back in the BC days.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

That's similar to the joke where the guy has a little man on his shoulder that gives him grief all day long - because he had wished for a "big prick". Fortunately for that poor guy, the Genie didn't know about Trump at the time.

bylm1-Bernie

Not funny, McGee. (dating myself)

Tasine Loc: Southwest US

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Which side did you fight for, the North or the South?

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Or, the Hatfields/McCoys

boatbob2

OR the South Or North VIETNAMESE????????????

bylm1-Bernie

Actually, it was the North. That refers to the little league team called "North" that I played on. There were only 4 teams in the city and North won the championship. I played a mean 1st base with a batting average for the summer of .176. The next year I got glasses.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

What was your average after getting glasses

bylm1-Bernie

You would ask that. It was up some but not as much as I would have liked. After that I had to get serious about getting a job. I wasn't really good enough to pursue BB seriously.