Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Borrowed from a sister site too good to pass up.

THE PASTOR ENTERED HIS DONKEY IN A RACE AND IT WON.
THE PASTOR WAS SO PLEASED WITH THE DONKEY THAT HE ENTERED IT IN THE RACE AGAIN AND IT WON AGAIN.

THE LOCAL PAPER READ:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
THE BISHOP WAS SO UPSET WITH THIS KIND OF
PUBLICITY THAT HE ORDERED THE PASTOR NOT TO ENTER THE DONKEY IN ANOTHER RACE.

THE NEXT DAY THE LOCAL PAPER HEADLINE READ:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR THE BISHOP SO HE ORDERED THE PASTOR TO GET RID OF THE DONKEY.
THE PASTOR DECIDED TO GIVE IT TO A NUN IN A NEARBY CONVENT.

THE LOCAL PAPER, HEARING OF THE NEWS, POSTED THE FOLLOWING HEADLINE THE NEXT DAY:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
THE BISHOP FAINTED.
HE INFORMED THE NUN THAT SHE WOULD HAVE TO GET RID OF THE DONKEY SO SHE SOLD IT TO A FARM FOR £10.

THE NEXT DAY THE PAPER READ: NUN SELLS ASS FOR £10
THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR THE BISHOP SO HE ORDERED THE NUN TO BUY BACK THE DONKEY AND LEAD IT TO THE PLAINS WHERE IT COULD RUN WILD.

THE NEXT DAY THE HEADLINES READ:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
THE BISHOP WAS BURIED THE NEXT DAY.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS . . . BEING CONCERNED ABOUT PUBLIC
OPINION CAN BRING YOU MUCH GRIEF AND MISERY . . . EVEN SHORTEN YOUR LIFE.

SO BE YOURSELF AND ENJOY LIFE. STOP WORRYING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE'S ASS AND JUST COVER YOUR OWN !!!

YOU'LL BE A LOT HAPPIER AND LIVE LONGER!

EL Loc: Massachusetts

Good advice!!!