slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

By Dick Wolfsie

The Wolfsies' refrigerator has been relocated to Habitat for Humanity. We don't have a dishwasher or a stove, either. The Salvation Army took them away. We threw out the microwave that was over the oven. Nobody want an appliance that been stuck on 'pop-corn' for two decades.

Preparing for our kitchen renovation first required cleaning out the pantries. We found a bottle of Bookbinder Cocktail Sauce for shrimp. It was stamped: "Use by October, 1997." I opened it and gave it a sniff. It smelled better than the fresh shrimp that had been in our fridge for only 36 hours. We also found some Orville Redenbacher Popcorn. Under Orville's picture it said "Expires May, 1995." (That might have referred to Orville and not the popcorn.) There was a jar of tartar sauce that had no expiration date. Backwards, it spells rat-rat, so I threw it out. We found an unopened bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing. The name tells it all. It had hidden from us for 17 years.

In the back of the closet, we found Greenie Hard Chews for dogs. The box said they were "best used" by August of '86. But, what could go wrong with them? I wondered. Would they turn greener, get harder, even chewier? That worked for me, and probably for any future dog.

Next, we moved our smaller appliances like the toaster oven and coffee pot to the garage, near our second fridge. We now use my work bench as a counter-top for preparing salads, and on the front of the Prius we marinate meat for the barbecue...unless it starts to rain, in which case we just jump in the car and go out to dinner. Last night we forgot to take the boneless chicken breasts off the hood.

I must admit that our kitchen was very outdated, but I was still a bit nostalgic when I saw the room being gutted.

"We sure have some wonderful memories in this kitchen, don't we, Ruth Ellen?"

"We do? Oh, yeah, like the time you used hand-washing liquid soap in the dishwasher and the entire room filled up with bubbles. Or last July 4th when you microwaved an opened can of baked beans. How about the evening you dropped your cell phone in the garbage disposal? Ahhh, memories."

"Okay, you made your point, Ruth Ellen."

"And Dick, you can't forget the wonderful meals I have prepared in that room."

"Yes, I remember that day, too."

Life during the past week has required a series of adjustments, and we've had to establish new habits.

"Dick, I'm going into the garage to make a smoothie."

"Well, okay, but you'll have to disconnect the shop vac so you can plug in the blender."

"I already did that so we could plug in the toaster oven. So, is there an outlet available for the portable microwave?"

"Not if we want the garage door to open."

I can't wait until the kitchen is completed. We will have brand new cabinet for all our cookware and utensils, an accessible pantry for our canned goods, and a counter-top gs grill that will offer state-of-the-art technology for fixing a meal. That day will call for a celebration.

Ruth Ellen will probably want to go out for dinner.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

The front of a Prius is short, and sloped pretty steeply. It would have been better to use the hood of the F-150 for a more even marinade. Just sayin.

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

you are on to something but I would simply let the tail gate down. makes the best counter top going. I use mine daily at work for making sandwiches and then I have a great chair.

bggamers Loc: georgia

Men do find the simpler things in life comfortable and non threating. Just think when you get your new kitchen you get to try and figure out where everything is and how to use. All things are now made like child saftey caps (ONLY A CHILD CAN FIGURE THEM OUT) good luck and have a blessed event on your new kitchen