Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Two nuns were in the back of the convent smoking a cigarette, when one said, "It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them."


The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called a condom which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later."

The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them. "You get them at a drug store, sister. Just go and ask the pharmacist for them."

The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter. "Good morning, sister," the pharmacist said, "what can I do for you today?" "I'd like some condoms please," said the nun.

The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, "How many boxes would you like? There are 12 to a box." "I'll take six boxes. That should last about a week," said the nun.

The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time and was almost afraid to ask any more questions. But his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice. "Sister, what size condoms would you like? We have large, extra large, and the 'big liar' size."


The sister thought for a minute and finally said: "I'm not certain, I'm looking for something to put on a camel."

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

Sounds like a few of the salty nuns i had in school....penguins with a tude.......and a yard stick i tasted many a time

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

I had my knuckles raped a few times to no avail as I still did as I damn well pleased. Guess I just don't like penguins out of water.

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

Haha....i suffered several archaic tortures in my many yrs.....slow learner, i claimed victim.

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

I hope that worked for you but when I did something similar when reporting to my mom all I got was a swat across the head from her instead and a cowboy up sermon that seemed to last for years. Luckily two years latter we moved and I got the HELL OUT of that so called christian school. If us kids weren't fighting with the nuns (I still think some were cross dressers) they were fighting each other, hell I thought I was in New York during the 30s.

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

Worked well.....look how awsome i turned out

When i was in the s**t outside of school my dad would just tell the priest.....je and the nuns would handle the discipline from there, being an alter boy untill my dismissal over some sacramental wine thing for breakfast.......they had me man......couldn't ecape the wrath of my parents taking the easy way out

bilordinary Loc: SW Washington

Ah, Catholic schooled, that explains a lot!

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

Yup, for 9 yrs i had the same 7 kids in my class, 4 boys and 3 girls...had to fight a buddy to get a girlfriend...53 kids K thru 12...talk about hands on, and getting away with nothing!!

It was good times

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Sounds very similar to the Catholic prison I went to. I still thank the Lord for clemency and for gracefully saving my knuckles. We had a few more students but the 5th through 8th grade were in one room and one treacherous teacher/administrator. Sadist is the word I keep coming up with but I think her name was Sardinia.

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

Yea, my class moved from one subject class to another all together......only time we were seperated is when i was in the hallway for disruption.

I served 2 early masses, first class was church, then on to religion class after i delivered the morning paper by 5 am, uphill in 4 feet of snow 3 miles away...upstate NY...may as well been Canada ...all that and I'm still an asshole...go figure

pafret Loc: Northeast

Didn't make it to Parochial school. I made up for it by going to three Catholic colleges and universities. No nuns just priests and Brothers.

Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas

We had plenty of priest too, they were cool as all get out. ...smoking and drinking, foul language, they let us get away with murder almost in the classes they taught. I would not have traded it for public.

Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

Well ya know try as we may we just change our inner nature. Welcome to the club from one asshole to another, ain't life a fricken dream?