Names are just words, similar to blah, blah, blah
Aug 24, 2016 16:23:35 #
lpnmajor
Loc: Arkansas
My friend Jerry X was going to open a bakery featuring all things peanut. Peanut butter fudge, peanut brittle, etc. He was trying to figure out what to name his business. Here's the name I suggested that he eventually adopted;
Peanut Butter and Jerry.
Economic stimulus: here's my economic stimulus; I have bills that I have to figure out how to pay - every month. That's a lot of stimulus.
I was asked what religion I was. How can I be a religion? Perhaps they meant what religion I subscribed to, so that's how I answered. I said "Combination". "What's Combination?" they asked. I explained that I combined the best features from all known religions into my personal belief system. "You can't do that!", they exclaimed, "you have to pick one!". "Who said?" I asked, "God told me I could do this, so...................".
Ever notice that people who claim to speak to God, don't like it when other folks make the same claim - and get different instructions from the Big Man?
I'm considered by many to be a "handyman", as I have sk**ls in electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, auto mechanics, etc. I was asked how I learned to do all that and my answer was simple - I either learned to do it myself, or it didn't get done. You see, I was never wealthy enough to hire other people to do those things for me. I think I am a dying breed. I tried to teach my Grand Son some basic tool sk**ls, but he found it easier to just ask his Dad - who still thinks a Phillips screwdriver is a screwdriver that belongs to a guy named Phillip. I failed to pass on the handyman gene to my son I guess, as endless hours of patient instruction couldn't compete with something smarter - his phone.
He still gets pissed when I congratulate him for owning a device smarter than he is. I once said to him "look son, I don't have a smartphone and I still know how to walk and chew gum and remember to zip up my fly. BTW, your fly is open, you better call Siri ". Am I being too hard on his dumb ass?
Peanut Butter and Jerry.
Economic stimulus: here's my economic stimulus; I have bills that I have to figure out how to pay - every month. That's a lot of stimulus.
I was asked what religion I was. How can I be a religion? Perhaps they meant what religion I subscribed to, so that's how I answered. I said "Combination". "What's Combination?" they asked. I explained that I combined the best features from all known religions into my personal belief system. "You can't do that!", they exclaimed, "you have to pick one!". "Who said?" I asked, "God told me I could do this, so...................".
Ever notice that people who claim to speak to God, don't like it when other folks make the same claim - and get different instructions from the Big Man?
I'm considered by many to be a "handyman", as I have sk**ls in electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, auto mechanics, etc. I was asked how I learned to do all that and my answer was simple - I either learned to do it myself, or it didn't get done. You see, I was never wealthy enough to hire other people to do those things for me. I think I am a dying breed. I tried to teach my Grand Son some basic tool sk**ls, but he found it easier to just ask his Dad - who still thinks a Phillips screwdriver is a screwdriver that belongs to a guy named Phillip. I failed to pass on the handyman gene to my son I guess, as endless hours of patient instruction couldn't compete with something smarter - his phone.
He still gets pissed when I congratulate him for owning a device smarter than he is. I once said to him "look son, I don't have a smartphone and I still know how to walk and chew gum and remember to zip up my fly. BTW, your fly is open, you better call Siri ". Am I being too hard on his dumb ass?
Aug 24, 2016 16:29:36 #
Aug 25, 2016 08:10:00 #
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