Sex At 74...
Aug 11, 2016 21:05:11 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
SEX AT 74
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 74.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 68.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
~~~~~
Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your
glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough
to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman
so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 74.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 68.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
~~~~~
Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your
glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough
to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman
so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
Aug 11, 2016 23:50:53 #
You know you are old when you get a massage and think the 'happy ending' is getting your Senior Citizen discount.
Aug 12, 2016 05:42:11 #
crazylibertarian
Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
An eighty year old man goes to his physician and says to him, "Doc, I want to have my sex drive lowered." The physician's mouth hangs open and he replies, "You're 80 years old and you want to have your sex drive LOWERED?" The man replies, "Yes, I want to have it lowered from here (pointing to his head) to here (pointing to his g*****l area) where it should be."
Aug 12, 2016 09:34:26 #
lpnmajor
Loc: Arkansas
crazylibertarian wrote:
An eighty year old man goes to his physician and says to him, "Doc, I want to have my sex drive lowered." The physician's mouth hangs open and he replies, "You're 80 years old and you want to have your sex drive LOWERED?" The man replies, "Yes, I want to have it lowered from here (pointing to his head) to here (pointing to his g*****l area) where it should be."
That's what I told my urologist - he suggested I stand on my head. I said "that's very funny. How am I supposed to see with my balls covering my eyes?".
Aug 12, 2016 10:07:16 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
Ha, ha, ha, very good... Don D.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lpnmajor wrote:
That's what I told my urologist - he suggested I stand on my head. I said "that's very funny. How am I supposed to see with my balls covering my eyes?".
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