missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Bshaw

Amen!😛

Peaver Bogart Loc: Montana

I think I've seen that bear a few times. He's about eight feet now.

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Close encounters can be quite a shocker. No big browns for me but lots of black bears.
B****s are much easier on the nerves. Don't cha know.

Little Ball of Hate

I hear that tactical flashlights work against bears. They already have lousy eyesight, and that flashing light can really mess them up. Follow that up with some bear mace, and your good to get away.

Peaver Bogart Loc: Montana

I think I'd trust my .44 mag more than a flashlight or bear mace. In Montana it's illegal to k**l a grizzly unless you're being attacked. Then there's a whole lot of legal stuff to go through.

Little Ball of Hate

I read a story about this guy who shot a Grizzly with a big game rifle. He went over to check on it, and it got up and started attacking him. He pulled his .44 mag and emptied into the grizzly. That just pissed it off. He survived, but just barely, if I remember correctly. If you want to k**l a grizzly, I'd recommend something like a Remington .500. In fact, a heavy crossbow will work better then most hand guns. Use some of those bolts with the blades that form a point. Those will do a number on them. Ideally, you should be somewhere where the grizzly can't get to you, when you shoot it. It takes them a while to die, no matter what you hit them with. Unless you're really lucky, or an excellent aim and know exactly where to shoot them. Grizzlies are no joke.

Little Ball of Hate

I wonder how these would work for stopping a grizzly?

http://www.breitbart.com/sports/2014/01/28/rip-ammo-self-defense-ammo-to-maximize-lethal-potential/

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Grizzly's were a needed game by native Alaskans long before rifles appeared.
Parts of their pelts were needed for Parka's. I heard the story of how they hunted them
with spears. Made my short hairs stick straight out.

Little Ball of Hate

My preferred method would be to lead to a spike trap pit. It would be difficult getting it out, but it works.

Peaver Bogart Loc: Montana

I don't know how they would work on a grizzly, but I bet they would do a good job on a muslim. Be sure to dip the round in a little bacon grease.

badbobby Loc: texas

love it