Why doesn’t the Office of National Statistics want us to know that Mohammed is the most popular boys’ name in England and Wales? Yesterday, it put out its annual survey of the top 10 baby’s names. In 2014, it reported, the most popular boys’ names were Oliver, Jack and Harry. This contrasts somewhat with a similar survey by the website BabyCentre last December which claimed that the most popular boys’ name was now Mohammed.

Yet when you look beyond the ONS press release – which makes no mention of the name Mohammud other than revealing that that variant of spelling is the most popular name in London – you get a different story. Examine the spreadsheet on the ONS website, and the raw figures reinforce the BabyCentre survey: Mohammed really is the single most popular name. The totals it gives are Muhammad 3588, Mohammed 2536, Mohammad 1116, a total of 7240. There were, by contrast, 6649 Olivers, 5804 Jacks and 5379 Harrys. You can get to 7555 if you add the Olivers to the 906 Ollies. But then Oliver and Ollie are not really the same name. The latter is a shortened, bastardised version of the former. Muhammad/Mohammed/Mohammad, on the other hand, are different t***sliterations of the same name, and are pronounced the same. There is no other name where different spellings come close to challenging it.

Why doesn’t the Office of National Statistics want us to know that Mohammed is the most popular boys’ name in England and Wales? Yesterday, it put out its annual survey of the top 10 baby’s names. In 2014, it reported, the most popular boys’ names were Oliver, Jack and Harry. This contrasts somewhat with a similar survey by the website BabyCentre last December which claimed that the most popular boys’ name was now Mohammed.

Yet when you look beyond the ONS press release – which makes no mention of the name Mohammud other than revealing that that variant of spelling is the most popular name in London – you get a different story. Examine the spreadsheet on the ONS website, and the raw figures reinforce the BabyCentre survey: Mohammed really is the single most popular name. The totals it gives are Muhammad 3588, Mohammed 2536, Mohammad 1116, a total of 7240. There were, by contrast, 6649 Olivers, 5804 Jacks and 5379 Harrys. You can get to 7555 if you add the Olivers to the 906 Ollies. But then Oliver and Ollie are not really the same name. The latter is a shortened, bastardised version of the former. Muhammad/Mohammed/Mohammad, on the other hand, are different t***sliterations of the same name, and are pronounced the same. There is no other name where different spellings come close to challenging it.