Onelostdog Loc: Restless Oregon

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He answered, "Call for backup."
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A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.

He walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You drinkin'?"

The driver said, "Well that depends - You buyin'?"


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I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.


A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,
“Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this.
Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,
‘Congratulations on your new location!’”