The General's retirement plan.
May 31, 2016 14:43:27 #
The army recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They went through many retirement plans but nothing seemed to please everyone.
In the end, desperate, they promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God man!" he said, "where are your testicles??"
"Vietnam," smiled the general.
In the end, desperate, they promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God man!" he said, "where are your testicles??"
"Vietnam," smiled the general.
May 31, 2016 14:56:58 #
May 31, 2016 15:31:09 #
morcutt
Loc: Georgia, United States
PoppaGringo wrote:
The army recently found it had too many generals a... (show quote)
This is actually the best thing that I've ever read in a long time. That's gonna be one hell of a pay day.
May 31, 2016 15:51:03 #
May 31, 2016 16:21:47 #
morcutt wrote:
This is actually the best thing that I've ever read in a long time. That's gonna be one hell of a pay day.
And one well earned and deserved.
May 31, 2016 16:23:27 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
The army recently found it had too many generals a... (show quote)
I'm laffin Poppa
but it is hard to believe a General would have lost his there
moren likely some grunt
May 31, 2016 16:29:55 #
PoppaGringo wrote:
The army recently found it had too many generals a... (show quote)
<back to one heck of a smart General!!! 
May 31, 2016 16:30:50 #
badbobby wrote:
I'm laffin Poppa
but it is hard to believe a General would have lost his there
moren likely some grunt
but it is hard to believe a General would have lost his there
moren likely some grunt
Not even a Lt. would lose them which, if true (it's not), the General may have been that rank 45 years ago.
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