Why Both Clintons Are Such Unapologetic Liars
By Jonah Goldberg - May 28, 2016
When You’re Guided By Nothing But a Lust For Power, Why Bother With The T***h?
Don’t worry, I’m not going to start out with another rant about Trump — I know folks are getting tired about that.
(Though I will note that they said if I didn’t support the party nominee, giant pythons would start slithering up through toilet holes to bite off our penises — and they were right!)
Instead, I’ll start with a rant about Clinton. I’ve been thinking (“Evidence, sir? Show me your evidence.” — The Couch).
I think Clinton needs to become a verb. But first, the sort of lexicological rambling discursive few readers have been waiting for! The English language is full of words that were inspired by people. The following (awful) paragraph contains well more than a dozen words inspired by people. Can you spot them?
Female chauvinists pushing for the mainstreaming of Rubenesque women into pop-culture have an almost sadistic desire to celebrate Lena Dunham’s relentless nudity (though some masochistic Casanovas may stroke their sideburns lasciviously at the prospect).
But I’m no pompadoured martinet of the comstocks or cultural McCarthyites, arguing that “artistic” speech be bowdlerized. I will not give in to Orwellian zeal nor enlist in some Luddite lynch mob hell-bent on stopping the wattage wasted on such fare.
Better to pursue a more Machiavellian strategy of boycotting until she dons a cardigan or at least a leotard. I’ll give you a few hints: “Chauvinism” — an extreme belief in the superiority of your nation, your g****r, etc. — was named after Nicholas Chauvin, a soldier in Napoleon’s army, who was a zealous partisan for his leader.
Masochism — taking pleasure, usually sexually, in being hurt or abused — is derived from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, an Austrian novelist who wrote about such things.
This is in contrast to “sadism” — inspired by the Marquis de Sade and his love of cruelty for its own sake. He was known to invite people to his home to screen Caddyshack but when the guests got there, they were forced to watch Caddyshack II.
Anyway, so where was I? Oh, right. ‘TO CLINTON’ We need to make “Clintoning” a thing. (I’d argue the same for Trump, but he brilliantly picked a last name that already means something. If I had his last name, every time I got into a whose-business-card-is-better contest — which is actually never — I’d slap mine down and shout, “That’s the Trump card, b***hes.”) RELATED:
All of Hillary’s Lies Are Premeditated
The first problem is there are two Clintons. Back when it was really just Bubba out there, the term would be unavoidably sexual. I’m reminded of Michael Kinsley’s response when the Clinton White House was insisting Bill was simply Monica Lewinsky’s mentor. It went something like, “Yeah, right. I’m sure he mentored her senseless.” I don’t mean to be unduly harsh — just duly harsh — but Hillary makes any of the limerick-quality double entendres unworkable.
That’s particularly unfortunate because Rodham, her maiden name, is particularly well-suited for such associations. “Jeffrey Epstein’s plane was like a Caligulan entourage of Rodhamanites.”
APPETITE ALL THE WAY DOWN
The amazing thing about Hillary and Bill Clinton is that they are united by no central idea, no governing philosophy that doesn’t — upon close inspection — boil down to the idea that they should be in charge. Yes, I know. That’s not what they would say.
They would argue that with the right experts in charge, the government can do wonderful things to help people. But what the government should do is constantly changing, according to both of them. Bill once declared, “The Era of Big Government is over.” He didn’t mean it. He certainly didn’t want it to be true. He just said it because that’s what he does:
He says what he needs to say. I don’t approvingly quote Jesse Jackson all that often (though I do find myself saying, “Keep hope alive,” a lot these days), but I think he had it right when he said Bill had no core beliefs, he was all appetite.
RELATED: Habitual Liar Lies Habitually Hillary, in her own way, strikes me as even worse in this regard. Can you name a single substantial policy that she hasn’t flipped on — or wouldn’t change — if it were in her political self-interest? Gay marriage? Free trade? I*****l i*********n? Strip away all of the political posturing and positioning, and their “philosophy” that government run by experts can do wonderful things should really be t***slated as “government run by us.” Clinton’s defenders argue that her changing policy approaches are just signs of her “pragmatism.” And don’t worry, I won’t rant about pragmatism again, either. But liberal pragmatism begins and ends from a single first principle:
Liberals must be in power to decide what is “pragmatic.” And when conservatives are in charge, the only form of acceptable pragmatism is . . . compromising with liberals. RELATED: Clinton and Trump: The Moral Universe of Liars That is why both Clintons are such unapologetic liars. Pragmatism bills itself as being beyond ideology and “labels.” Well, if you don’t feel bound to any objective ideological or even ontological criteria — labels, after all, are the words we use to describe reality — why not lie?
Why not wax philosophic about the meaning of “is”? If attaining and wielding power is your only benchmark, the ethical imperative of telling the t***h is no imperative at all. It’s just another false ideological construct. It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Since the Clintons respect only power, the only power they respect is that of the law.
Which is why the only times they can be counted upon to tell the t***h is when the law absolutely requires it — or may require it down the road. Of course, as lawyers, they are artists at telling only the minimum amount of the t***h absolutely required of them. The flipside is that because they are lawyers, when they resort to legalistic language, it’s a tell that they’re lying.
RELATED: The Clintons’ Greatest Political Gift: Persuading Millions of Americans to Defend the Indefensible For instance, when Hillary Clinton went on the Today Show in 1998 to address the growing Lewinsky scandal, she blamed it all on a vast right-wing conspiracy. When asked what it would mean if the allegations were true, she said: Well, I think that — if all that were proven true, I think that would be a very serious offense.
That is not going to be proven true. Note: She didn’t say “if it were true.” She said, “if it were proven true” — twice. She had every intention of concealing the t***h. It just turned out that this time her cover-up sk**ls weren’t up to the task. This is the same tactic we see in the e-mail scandal. “There is no classified information.” We’re constantly told, “There is no smoking gun!” Which is just another way of saying, “You can’t prove it!” Not, “I didn’t do it.” Again: The server is the smoking gun.
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/435987/hillary-clinton-campaign-lies