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A wife's secret
May 26, 2016 07:55:58   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
An old man and his wife had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the chest, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the chest and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the chest. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money that came out to about $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

She replied: 'When we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the chest. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said. 'That explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh!' she said. 'That's the money I made from selling the other dolls.'

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May 26, 2016 11:20:24   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
An old man and his wife had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the chest, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the chest and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the chest. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money that came out to about $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

She replied: 'When we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the chest. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said. 'That explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh!' she said. 'That's the money I made from selling the other dolls.'
An old man and his wife had been married for more ... (show quote)


Ya made me laugh, Slatten, you really made me laugh....and since I'm not allowed to eat anything solid this day, and I may not "want" to eat tomorrow, after all is said and done....all I can say is....keep 'em comin'...."food" for the soul!!

Reply
May 26, 2016 12:08:04   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
Ya made me laugh, Slatten, you really made me laugh....and since I'm not allowed to eat anything solid this day, and I may not "want" to eat tomorrow, after all is said and done....all I can say is....keep 'em comin'...."food" for the soul!!

How 'bout....

A scientific study discovered that women with extra weight usually live longer than men who point it out.

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May 26, 2016 12:10:58   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
One more, for now...

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.” The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?” Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the t***h to her husband. Then, finally, she says, “You.”

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May 26, 2016 12:11:46   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
How 'bout....

A scientific study discovered that women with extra weight usually live longer than men who point it out.


LOL....right now....my kingdom for a sandwich!! John made his own coffee this morning and I rather suspect he "hid" so he wouldn't feel guilty eating a sandwich!!

Reply
May 26, 2016 12:15:21   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
LOL....right now....my kingdom for a sandwich!! John made his own coffee this morning and I rather suspect he "hid" so he wouldn't feel guilty eating a sandwich!!

Okay, one more...for now.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.

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May 26, 2016 12:28:07   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
You're a peach!! Thank you, thank you!!

Reply
 
 
May 26, 2016 12:41:32   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
You're a peach!! Thank you, thank you!!

Por Nada.

BTW, the Sgt. Major wants to know...if I'm such a 'peach,' why does she feel she ended up with the pits

Reply
May 26, 2016 14:10:43   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Wife: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."

Husband: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

Wife: "True, but I do."

Reply
May 26, 2016 22:18:57   #
PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco
 
slatten49 wrote:
An old man and his wife had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a locked chest on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the chest, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the chest and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the chest. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money that came out to about $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

She replied: 'When we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'


I am glad my wineglass was empty when I read this. I would have spit out some very decent cabernet.


The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the chest. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said. 'That explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh!' she said. 'That's the money I made from selling the other dolls.'
An old man and his wife had been married for more ... (show quote)



I'm glad my wineglass was empty when I read this. I would have spit of some very decent cabernet.

Reply
May 27, 2016 15:24:24   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Por Nada.

BTW, the Sgt. Major wants to know...if I'm such a 'peach,' why does she feel she ended up with the pits



still wishing she had married that handsome Sailor .huh??
but
the jokes are funny

Reply
 
 
May 27, 2016 17:29:26   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
badbobby wrote:
still wishing she had married that handsome Sailor .huh??
but
the jokes are funny

Hardly.

Oh...thanks about the jokes

Reply
May 27, 2016 18:24:14   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Searching wrote:
You're a peach!! Thank you, thank you!!



hey search
hope nothing is wrong that you can't eat

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