lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

I was working on my new fiction novel when My wife asked how it was going. I told her the story was about a floating island populated by chunky naked women, who's sole male occupant was King. She approved of the premise, suggesting I had created a new genre. I then explained that the King had issued one overriding decree, which was that the women were forbidden to congregate on the edges of the island, lest they tip it over. Looking up at my wife's face after that revelation, I realized that she had just withdrawn her approval for some reason.

I did not add the next level of the story, where a ship filled with young virile men was blown off course and approached the floating island. This caused the women to rush to that side of the island to ogle their new toys, disobeying the Kings command. This resulted in the island tipping over, sinking the ship, drowning it's sailors and causing the island to sink. The King, being the resourceful fellow that he is, lashes his subjects together and seeks a new kingdom, ruling from the resulting raft. It was scientifically known that chunky women are quite buoyant.

I will have to create another pen name if I wish to publish this work, because if my wife reads it - I'll end my days living in my camper, or a nursing home. As the title suggests, I added one detail too many, when giving my wife a sneak preview of my latest piece.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

I can go with this. But I need a definition of 'chunky.'
I, personally prefer the term 'corn fed.'

Super Dave Loc: Realville, USA

We used the term 'Cornbread fed' in my neck of the woods.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Ernest Hemingway's legendary status appears safe for yet a while longer, Doc.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

That's a term with which I'm familiar, Arch.

Holdenbeach4u Loc: Holden Beach , NC

Chicken Feed !

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Chunky refers to anything ( or anyone ) that has things that, um, bulge - where such bulges are not normally found. I do not use the term "fat", as all humans have fat in some quantity and placement, well, except for anorexics and prisoners of war. I would never use a super model as a floatation device, for example, even one enhanced with silicone, as that would only provide two nominal sitting areas and she would most likely drown. Chunky women, on the other hand, make excellent rafting material, providing plenty of soft sitting and sleeping space. In addition, they are less prone to drowning and present even the largest ocean predator with a predicament - not being able to get a good bite anywhere, as their jaws will not expand enough.

In an emergency situation, one must think positively, believing that one will find land eventually. Being able to play with one's rafting material after landfall, is an important consideration. My fictional King ( which I must admit I modeled somewhat after my own self ) thinks of these things well in advance. BTW, when the zombie apocalypse comes, I am rescuing the chunkiest women I can lay my hands on ( so to speak ), as they will last longer without food and will keep zombies occupied for hours if I must sacrifice one to escape with the rest. I will never be caught without a plan.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

You'd better have a damn good plan

Holdenbeach4u Loc: Holden Beach , NC

These Liberals thinking how to get rig of D Trump . Obama will if he thinks D Trump is winning big over clown and i***t H Clinton !

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

You're on the wrong topic.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

I have a plan for everything. Well, except for what to do if my wife reads any of this. I guess I'll just wing it, although my success rate doing that is very low.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

I thought zombies only eat brains. If so, you should pass on the corn fed blondes!

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

You're thinking of Washington DC zombies - seeking something in undeath they never possessed in their approximation of life. The rest just eat human meat, or "long pork" as shipwrecked sailors and some Mormons like to call it. A well corn fed blond can feed a family of Mexican zombies for a week, but whoever gets the head portion will no doubt feel like they've been c***ted, assuming zombies can feel such emotions that is.

Leaving a super model behind to distract zombies will just get you k**led, as they are in no mood for appetizers. So, keep chunky (or corn fed if you prefer) people around you at all times - just in case. The Zika v***s might just be a prelude to the zombie pockylips - or the 2016 P**********l e******ns. One or the other is bound to jump off some sh*t.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

Now I understand! I haven't had any use for super models since learning Victoria's secret.

badbobby Loc: texas

pleasingly plump
works for me