Why Men Are Happier???
May 19, 2016 13:08:54 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
Men Are Just Happier People
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What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the t***h.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over
in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays
its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years,
even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes --
one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO - nothing applicable right?
-----
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the t***h.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over
in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays
its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years,
even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes --
one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO - nothing applicable right?
May 19, 2016 16:42:51 #
lpnmajor
Loc: Arkansas
All apply to me, but I'd like to add a couple:
A man can be ready to go out in 5 minutes or less
A woman needs at least an hours notice, preferably more
In an emergency, a man leaves immediately
A women must change clothes first, check her hair and make up, make sure she has her phone, make sure the animals have food and water, make sure........................
In my household, here's what happens when we are going out - even if it's to the hardware store;
My wife will ask me to change my shirt and/or pants and I'll respond that they're clean enough. My wife will demand that I comb my hair, to which I respond that I'm not going on a photo shoot. My wife will ask if I brushed my teeth, to which I respond that I had - sometime that week.
A man can be ready to go out in 5 minutes or less
A woman needs at least an hours notice, preferably more
In an emergency, a man leaves immediately
A women must change clothes first, check her hair and make up, make sure she has her phone, make sure the animals have food and water, make sure........................
In my household, here's what happens when we are going out - even if it's to the hardware store;
My wife will ask me to change my shirt and/or pants and I'll respond that they're clean enough. My wife will demand that I comb my hair, to which I respond that I'm not going on a photo shoot. My wife will ask if I brushed my teeth, to which I respond that I had - sometime that week.
May 19, 2016 16:50:41 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
Very Good... Don D.
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lpnmajor wrote:
All apply to me, but I'd like to add a couple: br ... (show quote)
May 19, 2016 22:40:25 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Very Good... Don D.
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Thanks to both you, Wildman, and to Lpnmajor...aka Bubba, also.
May 20, 2016 07:47:29 #
I h**e it when you men are rightttttttttttt~~~
Especially when a man is never right
A women is always right even if she's wrong!!
And you know it!!!
Yes, Don, and major most do apply~~~ 
Especially when a man is never right
A women is always right even if she's wrong!!
And you know it!!!
Yes, Don, and major most do apply~~~
May 20, 2016 14:57:13 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People br ----- br br What ... (show quote)
excellent Don
all great
all going to my friends
if thats ok
May 20, 2016 14:59:31 #
lpnmajor wrote:
All apply to me, but I'd like to add a couple: br ... (show quote)
dam ipn
we have more in common than I imagined
May 20, 2016 15:43:10 #
Don G. Dinsdale
Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
That's The idea... Smiles & Tears Equally...
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badbobby wrote:
excellent Don
all great
all going to my friends
if thats ok
all great
all going to my friends
if thats ok
May 20, 2016 19:20:47 #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
Men Are Just Happier People br ----- br br What ... (show quote)
I just knew that at least one of those items about men would not be me. But I guess I was wrong for the second time, everyone of them fit me to a T. I wear the same shoes no matter what occasion is on tap. Need to be comfortable when walking around.
May 20, 2016 19:22:05 #
lpnmajor wrote:
All apply to me, but I'd like to add a couple: br ... (show quote)
Sounds like my house.
May 20, 2016 19:24:22 #
lindajoy wrote:
I h**e it when you men are rightttttttttttt~~~ br ... (show quote)
We know that very well, especially those that have been married for some time. But we love all of you no matter what you do.
May 21, 2016 00:15:03 #
Louie27 wrote:
img src="https://static.onepoliticalplaza.com/ima... (show quote)
Awe, and we love all of you right back..Marriage does that~~Rather perfect, actually...
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