A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.



Paddy ordered a whisky.



The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.



He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"



Paddy handed his drink back and said , "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy calls Easy jet to book a flight.



The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"



Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.



She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says



"You know what I want, don't you?"



"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.



"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------




Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.



Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"



Paddy says "What's his name?"



Mick replies "Miles, from London!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo-----------

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.



Paddy ordered a whisky.



The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.


True Genius, I guess.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"



Paddy handed his drink back and said , "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy calls Easy jet to book a flight.



The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"



Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.



She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says



"You know what I want, don't you?"



"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.



"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------




Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.



Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"



Paddy says "What's his name?"



Mick replies "Miles, from London!"



------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo-----------