badbobby Loc: texas

Paddy had been drinking at the local pub all day and most of the night
Mick,the bartender finally said"no more for you paddy,you have already had too much"
Paddy says "okay Mick,I'll be on my way"
he spins around on his stool,steps off and falls flat on his face
"Damn" he says and pulls himself up ,dusts himself off ,takes a step toward the door and falls flat on his face
"Oh,bloody damn "he says.he looks at the doorway and thinks that if he can just get outside and get a breath of fresh air,that he will be okay
He belly crawls to the door,pulls himself up ,sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath,feels much better,takes a step toward the sidewalk and falls flat on his face
"Damn me ,I'm in trouble "Paddy says.He can see his house just a few doors down and crawls that way
he gets to his door,pulls himself up,shimmies inside,takes a step towards the stairs and falls flat on his face
So Paddy crawls up to his room and finally crawls into bed
The next morning his wife brings him a cup of coffee and says "My my,Paddy you must have had a wee bit too much last night"
"Aye ,that I did "Answered Paddy."But how did you know"?
"MIck called "Answered his wife"You left your wheelchair at the bar"




Paddy had long heard stories of an amazing family tradition
It seems that his father,his grand father,and his great grand father had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday
On that special day they walked across the lake to the pub on the other side ,to celebrate their birthday,and have their first legal drinks
So now Paddy has turned 18.
He and his pal Nick rowed out to the middle of the lake and Paddy stepped out of the boat
Nick barely saved poor Paddy from drowning
confused by it all,Paddy went to see his Grand Mother and queried"Granny ,tis me 18th birthday,so why cant I walk on water like me father and his father,and his father before him?"
Granny looked into Paddy's troubled eyes and said"Ye poor fookin i***t,they were born in December,you were born in August"

PaulPisces Loc: San Francisco

LOL. I have to enjoy Irish jokes in private as my husband is only the 2nd generation in America from Ireland on his father's side. I'd catch holy hell if I told them while he is around.

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Oy vey. I am wondering if Paddy wasn't a Swabbie.

badbobby Loc: texas

the Navy turned him down
but the Marines took him

Loki Loc: Georgia

Know the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.

An Irish 7 course dinner?
A six-pack of Guinness and a potato.

Officer O'Leary knocked on Paddy O' Gallagher's door. His wife answered and O'Leary said: "'Tis me sad duty to tell you, mum, that your husband Paddy died today down at the brewery where he works."
Quoth his widow: "How did me Paddy die?"
"Mum, he drowned in a vat of beer."
"At least me Paddy went quickly."

"Actually, mum, he climbed out four times to pee before he finally expired."

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in Davy Byrne's pub in Grafton Street, Dublin, when, O'Leary, an irate Irishman stands up shouting, 'You're making out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose.'
'I'm sorry sir, I...........'

'Not you,' says O'Leary, 'I'm talking to that little fella on your knee.'
~~~~~

Kieran O'Connor always slept with his gun under his pillow. Hearing a noise at the foot of the bed, he shot off his big toe.
'Thank the Lord I wasn't sleeping at the other end of the bed,' Kieran said to his friends in Donegal's pub. 'I would have blown my head off.'
~~~~~

A young Irishman sat at a pub in the New World drinking beer and conversin' with the barkeep. Another comes in and sits besides him. He says how you do and hears the lilt and says you be Irish? Yes I am. The first man yells barkeep give us another round and one for my friend here he's from the mother country as well. The second man asks-so where in the old country ye from. Dublin responds the first. Dublin you say - so am I and the second man hollers barkeep bring us another round and a shot of your best Irish Whiskey for me and my friend here. Afterwards the first man asks from where in Dublin and the second man responds with the street and the first man says well I'll be - so am I and yells barkeep another pair of beers and Irish Whiskey for the pair of us. The phone behind the bar rings and the barkeep answers it. The owner of the pub asks - how is business. The barkeep responds - not too bad - The O'Malley twins are here getting drunk again

Loki Loc: Georgia

Top o the mornin' to you, too.

Loki Loc: Georgia

Top o the mornin' to you, too, lass.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

Top of the mornin' to you me friend~~~

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

And this includes LJ's posting.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

Thank You PoppaGringo.....Glad you enjoyed them~~

badbobby Loc: texas

badbobby Loc: texas

now Linda
it seems that ye be pickin on the Irish

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

No, no, my bobby, I love the Irish, have Irish roots too...And you weren't doin so bad there your self, kiddo~~~

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Yeah, for a Swabbie he ain't too shabby. I do hope he is able to locate his roots though.