I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. So I said Implants?
She hit me.
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How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and over fifty for Miss America ?
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Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly youre in bed with a relative.
***********************************************
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants.
***********************************************
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldnt have signed up in the first place!
***********************************************
When I was young we used to go skinny dipping.
Now I just chunky dunk.
***********************************************
Dont argue with an i***t;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
***********************************************
Wouldnt it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over? AMEN!
***********************************************
Why is it that our children cant read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!
***********************************************
Wouldnt you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
But FAT cells live forever.
***********************************************
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!
***********************************************
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
DJRich wrote:
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. So I said Implants?
She hit me.
***********************************************
How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and over fifty for Miss America ?
***********************************************
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly youre in bed with a relative.
***********************************************
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants.
***********************************************
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldnt have signed up in the first place!
***********************************************
When I was young we used to go skinny dipping.
Now I just chunky dunk.
***********************************************
Dont argue with an i***t;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
***********************************************
Wouldnt it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over? AMEN!
***********************************************
Why is it that our children cant read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant question!
***********************************************
Wouldnt you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
But FAT cells live forever.
***********************************************
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!
***********************************************
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on... (
show quote)
I would add to that, I would have appreciated my youth far more if I'd had to be old FIRST.
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