slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

1. Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

2. If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.

3. Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

4. Whenever possible please try to say wh**ever you have to say during commercials.

5. Only wearing your new lingerie once does not mean that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punch line.

8. The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!

9. When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.

10. What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.

11. When I ask, 'How many guys have you slept with?', it would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly.

12. When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary.

13. When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.

14. The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.

15. Sports Center starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.

16. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

17. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

18. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Haha! Good points! I had to add a #19 for my spouse, which is: Just because I'm looking at you, doesn't mean I'm inviting you to talk to me - it just means that my head happened to be in that direction when I started thinking about something.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Yeah, that one should be added. :wink:

archie bunker Loc: Texas

#20 Yeah I farted. That makes us even for the other day when the dog was outside, and you blamed him.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

:lol: :thumbup:

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

Well, Sir Slatten...#9 and #13, hmmmm. a) You aren't going to tell the waiter "fine"....you're going to inquire in your own polite way "where's the rest....surely these are children's portions and b) we know how easily led astray you are when it comes to food (if Sue isn't around), so I can understand about why you would be belching/burping with such vigor. As to the rest...you know we women pay those sort of suggestions no mind. Serially, Sir, what WERE you thinking??!!?? :roll: :mrgreen:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Apparently, I wasn't. :roll: :oops: I beg your forgiveness. :wink:

Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA

Uh Huh....riiight...got that quintessential "smirk" down to a friendly smile, I see. It's early mornin' yet..... :roll: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

It would appear that I'm over-matched. :lol:

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

:lol: :lol: A lot of t***h in those comments~~~ :wink: