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10 husbands & still a virgin
Apr 3, 2016 16:38:22   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled g***m. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed.

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Apr 3, 2016 16:44:16   #
ConnorShields69 Loc: Here
 
She knows her stuff, huh?

:thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
Apr 3, 2016 21:29:42   #
PeterS
 
slatten49 wrote:
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled g***m. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorc... (show quote)


:thumbup: :thumbup: funny!

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Apr 4, 2016 11:37:03   #
pappadeux Loc: Phoenix AZ
 
PeterS wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: funny!
I shall as always make my comments "short sweet & snappy" Wrong hole !

Reply
Apr 4, 2016 11:54:08   #
PawneeCounty Loc: Oklahoma USA
 
slatten49 wrote:
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled g***m. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorc... (show quote)


Next will be a Shade Tree Mechanic he'll tear it up on the first night and then keep working on it every night after.

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Apr 4, 2016 12:00:47   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
PawneeCounty wrote:
Next will be a Shade Tree Mechanic he'll tear it up on the first night and then keep working on it every night after.

And never get it right :?: :lol:

Reply
Apr 4, 2016 20:00:04   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled g***m. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorc... (show quote)



very good for a Jarhead
(you forgot the cab driver who couldn't get it in gear

Reply
 
 
Apr 4, 2016 21:02:15   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
badbobby wrote:
very good for a Jarhead
(you forgot the cab driver who couldn't get it in gear

Jarheads are always seeking improvement, & SEMPER FI (Always faithful:!: )

Read my thread post, 'Adapt, improvise...overcome.' :mrgreen:

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