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The Redneck and the Gator.
Mar 30, 2016 14:58:59   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'

Reply
Mar 30, 2016 15:09:33   #
bahmer
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'
This has been around before but is still funny. br... (show quote)


Funny

Reply
Mar 30, 2016 15:24:45   #
funguy1949
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'
This has been around before but is still funny. br... (show quote)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
 
 
Mar 30, 2016 16:11:25   #
Loki Loc: Georgia
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'
This has been around before but is still funny. br... (show quote)


Gotta watch us rednecks.

Reply
Mar 30, 2016 16:36:49   #
funguy1949
 
Loki wrote:
Gotta watch us rednecks.





YEP you sure do

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: we're tuff . :lol: :lol:

Reply
Mar 30, 2016 18:13:17   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'
This has been around before but is still funny. br... (show quote)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Mar 31, 2016 08:44:00   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
PG, I haven't commented on the jokes too often, but this one was great. Thanks :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
 
 
Mar 31, 2016 09:21:03   #
lindajoy Loc: right here with you....
 
Sounds like another butt whippen comen~
Too funny, Poppa~~ :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reply
Mar 31, 2016 15:22:50   #
Carol Kelly
 
bahmer wrote:
Funny


Sounds like Louisiana not Florida. Hilarious! I had a mental image while reading the whole thing. Loved it.

Reply
Mar 31, 2016 21:55:08   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
PoppaGringo wrote:
This has been around before but is still funny.


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally, the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something - you won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the summamabich that pushed me in the pool!'
This has been around before but is still funny. br... (show quote)





There was a huge oil field and for one reason or another one of the wells caught fire.
They had all the fire equipment very modern from all the surrounding cities. They all tried everything they had trained to handle a uncontrollable fire in the oil fields. Not one of them could handle putting the fire out.
Finally in the distance they heard the whine of a small squeaky siren. As they watched a little old broken down rural fire truck came rolling in with two firemen. They just kept going past all the modern equipment and well trained firemen from all the cities around.
They rolled right up next to the fire, grabbed a leaky hose, connected it to the pump on their old truck, stuck the hose in the well and put the fire out.
When the smoke cleared and the two country firemen walked away from the well, the owner said that was the bravest thing I ever saw in my life, you two are heroes. He wrote them a check right on the spot for 200,000 dollars to reward their bravery.
A reporter stepped up and ask the country fire chief, what is the first thing you are gonna do with that money...

He said, the first thing we are gonna do is get the brakes fixed on this truck.

Reply
Mar 31, 2016 21:58:23   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
Armageddun wrote:
There was a huge oil field and for one reason or another one of the wells caught fire.
They had all the fire equipment very modern from all the surrounding cities. They all tried everything they had trained to handle a uncontrollable fire in the oil fields. Not one of them could handle putting the fire out.
Finally in the distance they heard the whine of a small squeaky siren. As they watched a little old broken down rural fire truck came rolling in with two firemen. They just kept going past all the modern equipment and well trained firemen from all the cities around.
They rolled right up next to the fire, grabbed a leaky hose, connected it to the pump on their old truck, stuck the hose in the well and put the fire out.
When the smoke cleared and the two country firemen walked away from the well, the owner said that was the bravest thing I ever saw in my life, you two are heroes. He wrote them a check right on the spot for 200,000 dollars to reward their bravery.
A reporter stepped up and ask the country fire chief, what is the first thing you are gonna do with that money...

He said, the first thing we are gonna do is get the brakes fixed on this truck.
There was a huge oil field and for one reason or a... (show quote)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup:

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