eagleye13 Loc: Fl

Warped male humor -
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to k**l. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!

Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?' Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!



The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.


I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.


I woke up this morning for breakfast at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast all day.


The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

PZG1225 Loc: Florida

All were good eagle......but the best was the last. IMO

hedgewm

I'm so miserable since you've been gone, It's almost as if you've never left.

boatbob2

I thought I died,and went to heaven,Then she (and her mother) decided to stay ,,,,,,