Marriage Dictionary
Feb 27, 2016 00:04:16 #
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining some issues in marriage that people were curious about. Here are some of the definitions we thought we'd offer to include in it:
dictionary
Bachelor
1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable.
2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free.
3. A man who never made the same mistake once.
4. A bad boy who has c***ted some poor girl out of her alimony.
5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie.
Bride
A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her.
Compromise
A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way.
Diplomat
A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat.
Gentleman
1. A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling.
2. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up.
Housework
What a wife does without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it.
Husband
1. A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had.
2. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so.
Joint Checking Account
A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw.
Love
An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding.
Mother-in-Law
A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers.
Mrs.
A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition.
Spouse
Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
Wife
A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
dictionary
Bachelor
1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable.
2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free.
3. A man who never made the same mistake once.
4. A bad boy who has c***ted some poor girl out of her alimony.
5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie.
Bride
A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her.
Compromise
A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way.
Diplomat
A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat.
Gentleman
1. A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling.
2. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up.
Housework
What a wife does without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it.
Husband
1. A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had.
2. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so.
Joint Checking Account
A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw.
Love
An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding.
Mother-in-Law
A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers.
Mrs.
A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition.
Spouse
Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
Wife
A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
Feb 27, 2016 00:28:18 #
Feb 27, 2016 00:35:36 #
slatten49 wrote:
Seems you covered just about everything, Armie. :wink::thumbup:
He left out anything about large fish stories. :idea: :mrgreen:
Feb 27, 2016 00:40:09 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
AuntiE wrote:
He left out anything about large fish stories. :idea: :mrgreen:
That old dog doesn't hunt anymore. :lol:
Feb 27, 2016 00:46:32 #
slatten49 wrote:
That old dog doesn't hunt anymore. :lol:
Of course not, because he is fishing now. :idea: :roll: :-D
Feb 27, 2016 00:48:44 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
AuntiE wrote:
Of course not, because he is fishing now. :idea: :roll: :-D
Like me, Armi is probably fishing....without catching. :roll: :oops:
Feb 27, 2016 01:50:18 #
slatten49 wrote:
Like me, Armi is probably fishing....without catching. :roll: :oops:
This g****l w*****g is great, I dug 100 nightcrawlers today. They averaged about 2 1/2 lbs each. Get ready for some whopper reports.
Feb 27, 2016 05:24:22 #
slatten49 wrote:
That old dog doesn't hunt anymore. :lol:
Yep That poor baster never new what hit him & now he's not doing much of anything anymore except d**gging around a ball and chain attached to his ankle, or is that the 3rd finger on left hand???
Feb 27, 2016 08:21:30 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Armageddun wrote:
This g****l w*****g is great, I dug 100 nightcrawlers today. They averaged about 2 1/2 lbs each. Get ready for some whopper reports.
I guess we can expect reports of 10 lb. bluegills...soon :?: :wink:
Feb 27, 2016 08:21:33 #
grumpymarine
Loc: Florida
Armageddun wrote:
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining som... (show quote)
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Sounds like my house.
Feb 28, 2016 12:22:12 #
GEE,Im wondering,IF,anyone,besides me,had a great wife,a great relationship with his wife,AND,a best friend,that was also his wife,a lady that spent up to 20 hours a day, at the hospital,holding her husbands hand,as he was recovering from 2 major surgeries,,ALL of the above,was my late wife of 46 years 8 months and 8 days,til she passed away,while we were holding hands,. IF,all above describes YOUR WIFE,QUIT B***HING ABOUT HER !
Feb 28, 2016 12:43:04 #
boatbob2 wrote:
GEE,Im wondering,IF,anyone,besides me,had a great wife,a great relationship with his wife,AND,a best friend,that was also his wife,a lady that spent up to 20 hours a day, at the hospital,holding her husbands hand,as he was recovering from 2 major surgeries,,ALL of the above,was my late wife of 46 years 8 months and 8 days,til she passed away,while we were holding hands,. IF,all above describes YOUR WIFE,QUIT B***HING ABOUT HER !
I do understand your position. I was front and center to watch my father after my mother passed. It is a most difficult time when you have had a long, loving, supportive, best friend as a spouse.
Having said that, I must defend Armageddun and Slatten. Both are deeply in love with their spouse and have very frequently and openly declared such on this site. Each of them would, and it Slatten's case has, stand up to anyone who would demean their spouse. Armageddun's posting was meant as humor and in no way reflects his true view of marriage.
As a thought, if your wife were still here, would you and she find some bit of amusement in the originating post?
Utinam impleatur illa Dei benedictione.
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