Cooter and Gomer
Feb 15, 2016 15:52:00 #
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer.
The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, t'ain't Stanley."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell ?"
Gomer said, "well, Stanley had two ass-holes." "What ! He had two ass-holes ?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, "There's Stanley with them two ass-holes."
Scooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Obama administration. One in the I.R.S. and the other in the Justice Department.
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer.
The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, t'ain't Stanley."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell ?"
Gomer said, "well, Stanley had two ass-holes." "What ! He had two ass-holes ?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, "There's Stanley with them two ass-holes."
Scooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Obama administration. One in the I.R.S. and the other in the Justice Department.
Feb 15, 2016 16:17:57 #
Elwood wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol: br br br ... (show quote)
Hmm...John Koskien and Lorretta Lynch. Who knew they were h****rs and fishers. :roll:
Feb 15, 2016 16:37:07 #
Feb 15, 2016 17:53:37 #
AuntiE wrote:
Hmm...John Koskien and Lorretta Lynch. Who knew they were h****rs and fishers. :roll:
Damn. I didn't know that.
Feb 15, 2016 17:53:58 #
Parrothead wrote:
My keyboard is shot again. Thanks a lot Elwood. :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Feb 15, 2016 18:06:39 #
Elwood wrote:
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
If he would use his noggin, he would know to never have food or beverage nearby when reading many if your postings. :idea: :idea: :idea: :roll: :idea: :idea: :roll:
Feb 15, 2016 18:11:29 #
AuntiE wrote:
If he would use his noggin, he would know to never have food or beverage nearby when reading many if your postings. :idea: :idea: :idea: :roll: :idea: :idea: :roll:
I'll never learn I guess. :roll: :lol: :lol:
Feb 15, 2016 18:16:17 #
Parrothead wrote:
I'll never learn I guess. :roll: :lol: :lol:
Take a long piece of string, tape is to the ceiling so it hangs down slightly above eye level. Write, in RED, a big note saying NO FOOD OR BEVERAGE WHILE READING ELWOOD!!. Attach said note to the end of the string. :idea: :idea: :idea: :D :roll: :-P
Feb 15, 2016 18:19:21 #
AuntiE wrote:
Take a long piece of string, tape is to the ceiling so it hangs down slightly above eye level. Write, in RED, a big note saying NO FOOD OR BEVERAGE WHILE READING ELWOOD!!. Attach said note to the end of the string. :idea: :idea: :idea: :D :roll: :-P
I'll try that. Thanks!!!!!!!!! :thumbup: :thumbup:
Feb 15, 2016 18:27:51 #
AuntiE wrote:
If he would use his noggin, he would know to never have food or beverage nearby when reading many if your postings. :idea: :idea: :idea: :roll: :idea: :idea: :roll:
:lol: :lol: I'm that bad? :shock: :mrgreen:
Feb 15, 2016 18:42:19 #
Elwood wrote:
:lol: :lol: I'm that bad? :shock: :mrgreen:
Some of your humor is stealthy. :-D :-P You are reading along, pick up your beverage, take a mouthful, get to the stealthy punch line and :oops: ::oops: :oops: there goes the beverage.....everywhere but down your throat. :shock: :shock:
Feb 15, 2016 18:55:45 #
AuntiE wrote:
Some of your humor is stealthy. :-D :-P You are reading along, pick up your beverage, take a mouthful, get to the stealthy punch line and :oops: ::oops: :oops: there goes the beverage.....everywhere but down your throat. :shock: :shock:
Yep. A total waste of part of a cold beer. I h**e when that happens.
Feb 15, 2016 19:05:39 #
Parrothead wrote:
Yep. A total waste of part of a cold beer. I h**e when that happens.
Try sticky tonic from gin and tonic. :shock: :roll: :-( :(
Feb 15, 2016 19:09:35 #
AuntiE wrote:
Try sticky tonic from gin and tonic. :shock: :roll: :-( :(
Not too sure about that from the description. I'm worried about what might stick together. I might explode in the morning. :shock:
Feb 15, 2016 19:13:05 #
Parrothead wrote:
Not too sure about that from the description. I'm worried about what might stick together. I might explode in the morning. :shock:
We will let you stick with cold beer, but.....not when reading Elwood.
:idea: :roll: 8-)
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