eagleye13 Loc: Fl

Some laughs here!

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 37 years in a row.

I decided to change calling the toilet the John and renamed it the Obama. I feel so much better saying I went to the Obama this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.":-!

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna t***sfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.{ everyone else is just "dumb"!

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

CowboyMilt

LMAO!!!

reconreb Loc: America / Inglis Fla.

Thanks alot , but did you have to remind me ?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Very nice list, Eagleeye13...but, it was just posted a few days ago by someone else. BTW, if you have a car horn that sounds like a gunshot in Texas...everybody fires back. :shock: :lol:

eagleye13 Loc: Fl

I missed it.
"BTW, if you have a car horn that sounds like a gunshot in Texas...everybody fires back."
Even in a no gun zone? :-)

kburns50

E;
Much more than a few Laughs. It's more then a few t***hs.
Kevin.

Roach G

Garland , Texas made the R*****ds understand that you bring a pen and brush to an Art show , not guns and bombs . This is a peaceful expression area , not for any violent expressions . Texans shoot back when needed , WW I, WW I I , etc. , etc . The R*****ds have not returned for some reason. Method of teaching maybe in English that can be comprehended ???? Texas English explains more effectively ???? " Remember the Alamo ! " another fine example . Semper Fi !

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

One would be hard-pressed to find a 'no-gun zone' in parts of Texas. :wink:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Welcome, Roach G, especially if you're another Texas Marine :!: :thumbup: SEMPER FI, brother :!:

the waker Loc: 11th freest nation

Funny, they don't like it when people fight back, probably went to California, they get sanction there.




Funny stuff, Eagleeye :thumbup:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

We are just waiting for the r*****ds and i******s to square off at each other. Should be a fun show.