Elwood Loc: Florida

Going the e-mail rounds.

Politicians should have two terms – one in office and the other in prison! More…..

1. I’m not saying let’s go k**l all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. If she is holding a gun, she’s probably very cross.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingling little feeling you get when you really like someone you’ve just met? That’s common sense leaving your body.

6. I don’t like making plans for the day because the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in court.

7. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 1,508 days in a row.

8. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “the John” and rename it “the Jim.” I feel much better saying “I went to the Jim this morning.”

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what’s your plan?

Mel Havener

Elwood,
As always much good.
Mel Havener

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

:lol: :lol: :lol: Yup, on a roll you are~~~ :thumbup:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I really like #8. I will use it, henceforth. :thumbup: :mrgreen:

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

I like #2~~~~ :shock: :lol: :lol:

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Very funny as usual. As to #9 paranoid people should carry a can of wasp spray when they are looking behind the shower curtain. If there IS someone there you can spray him, if not well then you are prepared for wasps anyhow.

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

In that situation I don't want to just upset him, I'm taking him down.....My glock is my choice..If he's hiding in my shower he's threatening my life...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

In Texas, you would hear the return of gun-fire :!: :shock: :lol:

lindajoy Loc: right here with you....

Why do I believe that????? :wink:

Elwood Loc: Florida

Thanks Mel. :-D

Elwood Loc: Florida

:-D :-D ;-)

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: You go Slats. :mrgreen:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: Sounds like a plan. :mrgreen:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I am going...to the Jim. :lol:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: You da man. :mrgreen: