willie, Dr. visit, 3 goats
Jan 29, 2016 21:39:04 #
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.
The Penis Poemby Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now Ive got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Visit
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong -- and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
He replied, "There's something wrong with my dick."
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you."
The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone," the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering.
The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear."
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't piss out of it."
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose
------------------------------------------------------------------
3 Goats In A School
>> Farm kids in Minnesota..You can never underestimate the inventiveness of American farm boys.
>> At a high school in Minnesota, a group of male students played a prank. They let three goats loose inside the school.
>> But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4.
>> School administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.
>> And you thought there was nothing to do in Minnesota!!
The Penis Poemby Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now Ive got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Visit
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong -- and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
He replied, "There's something wrong with my dick."
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you."
The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone," the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering.
The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear."
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't piss out of it."
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose
------------------------------------------------------------------
3 Goats In A School
>> Farm kids in Minnesota..You can never underestimate the inventiveness of American farm boys.
>> At a high school in Minnesota, a group of male students played a prank. They let three goats loose inside the school.
>> But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4.
>> School administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.
>> And you thought there was nothing to do in Minnesota!!
"I have outlived my pecker."
Jan 29, 2016 21:42:45 #
Very astute observations from an icon who would know~~ :wink: :thumbup: :lol:
Jan 29, 2016 21:43:27 #
Jan 30, 2016 13:05:40 #
Alicia
Loc: NYC
Squiddiddler wrote:
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these ... (show quote)
*************
Great trilogy. I truly appreciated the brilliance of the last one. Thanks.
Jan 30, 2016 17:35:15 #
Squiddiddler wrote:
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these ... (show quote)
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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