Big Bass

:D :D :D
The
British

1.
I got invited to a party and was told
to dress to k**l. Apparently a
turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't
what they had in mind.

2.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild
sex, John woke up to find himself next
to a really ugly woman. That's when he
realized he had made it home safely.

3.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been
banned from the Para-Olympics after
they tested positive for WD40.

4.
A teenage boy asks his granny: “Have
you seen my pills? They were labeled
LSD?” Granny replies: “ The
hell with the pills, did you see the
d**gons in the kitchen?”

5.
Wife gets naked and asks hubby: “What
turns you on more, my pretty face or
my sexy body?” Hubby looks her
up and down and replies: “Your
sense of humor!” (Hospital
visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00. )

6. A chap's wife's back on the
warpath again. She was up for making a
sex movie last night, and all he did
was suggest they should hold auditions
for her part. (His
viewing will be Saturday from 7:00
till 8:30. )

7. I've accidentally swallowed some
Scrabble tiles. My next crap could
spell disaster.

8
. I woke up this morning at 9:00 ,
and could sense something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face
down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn't know
what to do. Then I remembered
McDonalds serves breakfast until
10:30.

9
. My missus packed my bags, and as I
walked out the front door. She
screamed: "I wish you a slow and
painful death, you bastard!" I
replied: "Oh, so now you want me to
stay!”

10.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat
last week. When we went to the fair
last night it took me 3 hours to get
her off the Ferris wheel.

11
. The other night, my wife asked me
how many women I'd slept with. I told
her: "Only you. All the others kept
me awake all night!" (The doctor
says I should be able to see again in
about ten days. The broken arm
will take about a month. )

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

the waker Loc: 11th freest nation

:):):):):):):):):):):):)

Big Bass

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: