no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

- On the other hand, you have different fingers.

- Plateaus are the highest form of flattery

- A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "five beers, please"

- I, for one, like Roman numerals.

- You know what they say about cliffhangers...

- I have a singing computer. It's a Dell.

- My local gym closed down. It just didn't work out.

- Why did the sitcom about airplanes never take off? ..... The pilot was terrible.

- I've invented a new word. It's "plagiarism".

- There is no "i" in denial

- I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.

- I was going to tell a joke about an oil rig worker, but I was told it was too crude.

- Today's joke is about paper. Actually, nevermind... it's tearable.

- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? ...... About halfway.

- How do you think the unthinkable? .... With an itheberg.

- RIP boiling water. You shall be mist.

- I have a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.

- A man walked into his house and was delighted when he realized someone had stolen all of his lamps.

- Parallel lines have so much in common... it's a shame they'll never meet.

- I have a step-ladder, because my real ladder ran away when I was five.

- An alligator that wears a vest is an investigator.

- I told my psychiatrist that I've been hearing voices. "You don't have a psychiatrist", he replied.

- And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

- What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's big and grey, the other is a little lighter.

- An old lady at the bank asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.

and last one for now:

- My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it's also terrible.

Theo Loc: Within 1000 miles of Tampa, Florida

You have the right to remain sil..e.n.......

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

An excellent se******n of puns, NPP. :thumbup: I am not only impressed, but... also jealous and envious. :? :wink:

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Thought you would enjoy these. But I am sure you know how warped my mind is.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

"Birds of a feather," as they say. :mrgreen:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Yes. Yes we do. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Good job NPP.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

An obvious case of the pot calling the kettle black. :lol:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Guilty as charged. :lol: :lol: :lol:

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

I have been known to be flighty, but not birdlike.

Rufus Loc: Deep South

:lol: :lol: :lol:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

And, still running loose on the streets :!: :shock:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

I have filthy rich, ninja like women who protect me and keep me out of jail. Auntie, Beark, Mama, Linda Joy, just to name a few. Do you have a problem with that? :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

All of 'em putty in my hands. :wink: :mrgreen:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Damn you. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Carlos

More of the above is what this world needs.Those are funny sayings Did
You think them up? A couple of them made me stop and think.You should do that once a month or so, it brings a little lighter mood to the general writings
That make up this page.
Good job. Hope to see more of it'
Thanks for the laughs.