Happy or Merry wh**ever you celebrate.
Dec 18, 2015 17:22:58 #
oldroy
Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)
I wonder if this poor woman really has been hauled away in a straight jacket. They were getting to her by the end.
THE OFFICE PARTY
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 1, 2015
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting atnoon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 2, 2015
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 3, 2015
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name...
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: November 4, 2015
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20thbegins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: November 5, 2015
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: November 6, 2015
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Wh**ever!
Joan
THE OFFICE PARTY
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 1, 2015
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting atnoon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 2, 2015
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 3, 2015
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name...
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: November 4, 2015
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20thbegins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: November 5, 2015
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: November 6, 2015
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Wh**ever!
Joan
Dec 18, 2015 18:01:24 #
Dec 18, 2015 22:16:35 #
oldroy
Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)
slatten49 wrote:
:lol: :thumbup: :lol:
It is so easy to feel abjectly sorry for that woman. Too much of that left handed diversity will do things like this in every time.
Dec 19, 2015 05:02:16 #
oldroy, this was previously posted..I tell you only so you know, some may not reply because of that and not because of the cute memo~~ :thumbup:
Dec 19, 2015 15:03:05 #
oldroy wrote:
It is so easy to feel abjectly sorry for that woman. Too much of that left handed diversity will do things like this in every time.
Yep. The libs have a way of taking all the joy out of life. I think because they are miserable, so want everyone else to be miserable too. :evil: :evil: :evil:
Dec 19, 2015 22:52:59 #
oldroy
Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)
lindajoy wrote:
oldroy, this was previously posted..I tell you only so you know, some may not reply because of that and not because of the cute memo~~ :thumbup:
It gripes the hell out of me to think that all the left leaning diversity feeling can cause all these troubles. When I was a school principal I just took these things for granted. Maybe that was because all our teachers were Christians, yep I think so.
Dec 20, 2015 08:47:36 #
oldroy wrote:
It gripes the hell out of me to think that all the left leaning diversity feeling can cause all these troubles. When I was a school principal I just took these things for granted. Maybe that was because all our teachers were Christians, yep I think so.
That is good news. You were blessed to work around Christian teachers. I am so grateful for attending a Christian school in 2nd, 3rd and 4th grades and for the Christian teachers I had through the years, even in college. The good thing is that no matter how corrupt our society becomes we know the t***h. Amen. Bless you brother. :thumbup:
Dec 23, 2015 13:53:51 #
oldroy
Loc: Western Kansas (No longer in hiding)
Rufus wrote:
That is good news. You were blessed to work around Christian teachers. I am so grateful for attending a Christian school in 2nd, 3rd and 4th grades and for the Christian teachers I had through the years, even in college. The good thing is that no matter how corrupt our society becomes we know the t***h. Amen. Bless you brother. :thumbup:
That corruption you mention is getting stronger and stronger and we are submitting in too many instances. It is through ignorance most of the time and through the non-Christian professors and teachers who are trying so hard to bring Christianity down any way they can.
Dec 23, 2015 21:09:38 #
oldroy wrote:
That corruption you mention is getting stronger and stronger and we are submitting in too many instances. It is through ignorance most of the time and through the non-Christian professors and teachers who are trying so hard to bring Christianity down any way they can.
True, but we have some good advocates that always win these cases, even at the Supreme Court level. The Liberty Institute and The American Center For Law And Justice. ( Jay Sekulow.)
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