Great t***hs of life #2
Dec 15, 2015 18:15:27 #
GREAT T***HS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
5) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap .
GREAT T***HS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
GREAT T***HS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
How true this one is.
At age 4 success is . . ... Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is ... . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is ..... . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . ... . Having money.
At age 50 success is . .. .. Having money.
At age 70 success is . ... . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is ... ... Having friends.
At age 80 success is . .. .. Not piddling in your pants.
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
5) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap .
GREAT T***HS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
GREAT T***HS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
How true this one is.
At age 4 success is . . ... Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is ... . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is ..... . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . ... . Having money.
At age 50 success is . .. .. Having money.
At age 70 success is . ... . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is ... ... Having friends.
At age 80 success is . .. .. Not piddling in your pants.
Dec 15, 2015 23:15:58 #
Onelostdog wrote:
GREAT T***HS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: br... (show quote)
This doesn't give me much hope.
I do, however, know how to successfully nail jelly to a tree.
Dec 15, 2015 23:24:38 #
archie bunker wrote:
This doesn't give me much hope.
I do, however, know how to successfully nail jelly to a tree.
I do, however, know how to successfully nail jelly to a tree.
Lucky man Archie, I can drop a tree on a bowl of jelly but ain't had no luck the other way round and my kids are living proof. :lol: :lol:
Dec 15, 2015 23:29:10 #
Onelostdog wrote:
Lucky man Archie, I can drop a tree on a bowl of jelly but ain't had no luck the other way round and my kids are living proof. :lol: :lol:
I was talking about the physical act of nailing jelly to a tree. I have kids too. This only took me a second to figure out. I'll never figure them out. They may not me either! :lol: :lol:
Dec 15, 2015 23:53:08 #
archie bunker wrote:
I was talking about the physical act of nailing jelly to a tree. I have kids too. This only took me a second to figure out. I'll never figure them out. They may not me either! :lol: :lol:
Its been 70+ years and I haven't got me figured out so gave up on anyone else a long time ago. I look in the mirror some mornings and ain't a clue who the hell that is lookin back at me. Kinda liken this senility thing though, gives me a excuse for darn near everything and that my kids never had as I could see right through them.
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