CharlesRabb

(He's got some good ideas)

RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has
caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and
have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against
your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just
leave me alone?'
EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it, as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last,but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.

bahmer

He didn't do anything wrong Target is just too picky is all.

Ve'hoe

HAAHAHAHAHAHA

Fitting room for condoms!!!!!

BearK Loc: TN

Like most children, he was only having fun and entertaining himself. Now, can Target point out where he hurt anyone, stole anything, or caused other shoppers to do anything other than laugh, or just walk away shaking their head??? As a woman, it sounded great to me, I h**e to shop.

You have that right, bahmer, Target is too picky, and has no sense of humor.

boatbob2

At LEAST he doesn't have to go shopping with his wife again !!!!!!!!

Ray--Nashua NH Loc: NASHUA NH

TOTAL NUT--CRAZY BUT DAM GOOD KEEP IT UP (UNLESS YOU RUN OUT OF CONDOMS)