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New marriage dictionary coming out
Oct 30, 2015 13:44:51   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining some issues in marriage that people were curious about. Here are some of the definitions we thought we'd offer to include in it:

dictionary

Bachelor
1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable.
2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free.
3. A man who never made the same mistake once.
4. A bad boy who has c***ted some poor girl out of her alimony.
5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie.

Bride
A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her.

Compromise
A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way.

Diplomat
A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat.

Gentleman
1. A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling.
2. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up.

Housework
What a wife does without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it.

Husband
1. A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had.
2. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so.

Joint Checking Account
A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw.

Love
An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding.

Mother-in-Law
A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers.

Mrs.
A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition.

Spouse
Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Wife
A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

I



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Oct 30, 2015 14:03:01   #
Rufus Loc: Deep South
 
Elwood wrote:
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining some issues in marriage that people were curious about. Here are some of the definitions we thought we'd offer to include in it:

dictionary

Bachelor
1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable.
2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free.
3. A man who never made the same mistake once.
4. A bad boy who has c***ted some poor girl out of her alimony.
5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie.

Bride
A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her.

Compromise
A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way.

Diplomat
A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat.

Gentleman
1. A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling.
2. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up.

Housework
What a wife does without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it.

Husband
1. A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had.
2. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so.

Joint Checking Account
A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw.

Love
An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding.

Mother-in-Law
A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers.

Mrs.
A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition.

Spouse
Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Wife
A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

I
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining som... (show quote)


You are scaring me. I met a girl recently that I am crazy about. But after reading this I remember marriage can be a really slow painful suicide. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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Oct 30, 2015 14:13:13   #
Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop
 
The last one is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.............true.

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Oct 30, 2015 14:40:39   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Rufus wrote:
You are scaring me. I met a girl recently that I am crazy about. But after reading this I remember marriage can be a really slow painful suicide. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Oct 30, 2015 14:41:11   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Parrothead wrote:
The last one is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.............true.


Yup, I can attest to that. :mrgreen:

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Oct 30, 2015 16:13:21   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
Rufus wrote:
You are scaring me. I met a girl recently that I am crazy about. But after reading this I remember marriage can be a really slow painful suicide. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


Rufus

Also remember that marriage can be a wonderful, glorious celebration of God's love as shared by a man and a woman on a daily basis. It depends on making the right choice in the beginning, celebrating the good times and working through the bad ones, praying together and working together for the glory of God as reflected by your marriage. You have the opportunity and the choice, make it wisely and forever.

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Oct 30, 2015 17:17:28   #
Rufus Loc: Deep South
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Rufus

Also remember that marriage can be a wonderful, glorious celebration of God's love as shared by a man and a woman on a daily basis. It depends on making the right choice in the beginning, celebrating the good times and working through the bad ones, praying together and working together for the glory of God as reflected by your marriage. You have the opportunity and the choice, make it wisely and forever.


Don't worry NPP. I'm keeping God first. I wasn't looking. It was a pleasant surprise. I had surrendered some time ago and was content whether or not God put someone special in my life. I'm still putting this in His hands. Time will tell.

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Oct 31, 2015 12:32:00   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Elwood wrote:
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining some issues in marriage that people were curious about. Here are some of the definitions we thought we'd offer to include in it:

dictionary

Bachelor
1. A man who has been able to avoid the opportunity of making some woman miserable.
2. A man who is said to be foot-loose and fiancee-free.
3. A man who never made the same mistake once.
4. A bad boy who has c***ted some poor girl out of her alimony.
5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6. The only man who has never told a wife a lie.

Bride
A girl with great prospects of happiness behind her.

Compromise
A nice little arrangement between husband and wife whereby they both fully agree to let her have her own way.

Diplomat
A man who is able to convince his wife that a fur coat would make her look fat.

Gentleman
1. A husband who holds the stepladder tightly so his wife doesn't fall while she's painting the ceiling.
2. A man who notices his wife dropping her knitting and immediately kicks it over to her so that she can pick it up.

Housework
What a wife does without anyone noticing it until she doesn't do it.

Husband
1. A man who has decided to give up privileges he never knew he had.
2. A guy who controls the house and everyone in it, and is allowed by his wife to say so.

Joint Checking Account
A great little device which allows a wife to beat a husband to the draw.

Love
An obsessive delusion easily cured by a wedding.

Mother-in-Law
A woman who slowly destroys a man's peace of mind by telling him what's on hers.

Mrs.
A job title involving long duties, very light earnings and zero recognition.

Spouse
Someone who will protect you, help you and help you solve all the problems you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Wife
A partner who is always complaining that she doesn't have a thing to wear at the exact same time she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

I
A new dictionary is soon to come out, defining som... (show quote)



how many times have you sneaked into my home ????

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Oct 31, 2015 13:27:51   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
badbobby wrote:
how many times have you sneaked into my home ????


:lol: :lol:



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