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Joke : The perfect man
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Oct 11, 2015 16:58:20   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, he was always in the right place at the right time. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy, perfect in every way."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street b****s out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right, he never made a mistake, he was perfect!!"
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He was the best lover in bed, and could take his wife to the top of the mountain. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "This Frank Feldman was an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I have the pleasure of being married to his widow."

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Oct 11, 2015 17:04:05   #
Weewillynobeerspilly Loc: North central Texas
 
Sounds about right, pretty sure i know Frank :-D

Thanks Elwood,

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Oct 11, 2015 17:10:54   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Weewillynobeerspilly wrote:
Sounds about right, pretty sure i know Frank :-D

Thanks Elwood,


:lol: :lol:

Reply
 
 
Oct 11, 2015 19:08:04   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
Weewillynobeerspilly wrote:
Sounds about right, pretty sure i know Frank :-D

Thanks Elwood,


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: I think I have met him too. My neighbor's wife was married to him before her current husband.

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Oct 11, 2015 21:06:43   #
Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop
 
I would just as soon commit suicide as listen to the former Mrs.Frank ramble on about the former Mr. Frank. :roll: :lol: :lol:

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Oct 11, 2015 23:20:36   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Parrothead wrote:
I would just as soon commit suicide as listen to the former Mrs.Frank ramble on about the former Mr. Frank. :roll: :lol: :lol:


:lol: :lol: Or send her to join Fra nk. :twisted:

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Oct 12, 2015 06:46:33   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
Elwood wrote:
:lol: :lol: Or send her to join Fra nk. :twisted:


Now that would probably even hold up in court :thumbup:

Reply
 
 
Oct 12, 2015 07:40:21   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
Elwood wrote:
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, he was always in the right place at the right time. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy, perfect in every way."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street b****s out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right, he never made a mistake, he was perfect!!"
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He was the best lover in bed, and could take his wife to the top of the mountain. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "This Frank Feldman was an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I have the pleasure of being married to his widow."
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi jus... (show quote)

******************
Really good one. Couldn't foresee the punchline.

Reply
Oct 12, 2015 07:40:22   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
Elwood wrote:
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, he was always in the right place at the right time. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy, perfect in every way."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street b****s out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right, he never made a mistake, he was perfect!!"
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He was the best lover in bed, and could take his wife to the top of the mountain. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "This Frank Feldman was an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I have the pleasure of being married to his widow."
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi jus... (show quote)

******************
Really good one. Couldn't foresee the punchline.

Reply
Oct 12, 2015 08:55:06   #
PZG1225 Loc: Florida
 
Elwood wrote:
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, he was always in the right place at the right time. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Outstanding! Like Alicia, didn't see the punchline coming. Thanks Elwood

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy, perfect in every way."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street b****s out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right, he never made a mistake, he was perfect!!"
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He was the best lover in bed, and could take his wife to the top of the mountain. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "This Frank Feldman was an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I have the pleasure of being married to his widow."
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi jus... (show quote)

Reply
Oct 12, 2015 10:30:17   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
BearK wrote:
Now that would probably even hold up in court :thumbup:


:lol: :lol:

Reply
 
 
Oct 12, 2015 10:30:56   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Alicia wrote:
******************
Really good one. Couldn't foresee the punchline.


:lol: :lol:

Reply
Oct 12, 2015 18:34:36   #
Theo Loc: Within 1000 miles of Tampa, Florida
 
Elwood wrote:
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he was a cabbie who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, he was always in the right place at the right time. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy, perfect in every way."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street b****s out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right, he never made a mistake, he was perfect!!"
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He was the best lover in bed, and could take his wife to the top of the mountain. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "This Frank Feldman was an amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I have the pleasure of being married to his widow."
A man walks out to the street and stops a taxi jus... (show quote)


Widow? I never knew my wife was married before!

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Oct 12, 2015 19:06:31   #
PZG1225 Loc: Florida
 
How in the world did my comment end up in the MIDDLE of the joke! Sorry.

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Oct 12, 2015 23:25:03   #
Elwood Loc: Florida
 
Theo wrote:
Widow? I never knew my wife was married before!


:lol: :lol:

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