Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:


OLDY BUT A GOODY







Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)



For Example:



Where there's a will, I want to be in it
The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call wh**ever you hit the target.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.














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