Danielle Loc: Las Cruces, NM

I have a best friend in Albuquerque whom I have known since the first grade. We graduated from highschool together. She is more like a sister than a friend, and every now and then, she sends me something really cute. She, too, is most concerned about the state of this country and the future of our children and grandkids -- what patriotic American isn't? There's a lunatic in the White House and half the country supports him!

I think a number of you, especially you patriots, will get a real kick out of this one. I guess we need a few laughs now and then. It also makes a statement. I'm sure you patriots will get it. But, don't leave it to Liberal logic.

"Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the 'Walmartians' is always good for some comic release. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people who frequent this establishment.

"But, I digress ...enough of my psychological fixations.

"While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, 'Are you a Vietnam Vet?'

"'No,' I replied.

"'Then why are you wearing that cap?'

"'Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812.'

"I thought this was a snappy retort.

"'The War of 1812, huh?' the 'Walmartian' queried, 'When
was that?'

"God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. '1936.'

"I answered as straight-faced as possible.

"He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, 'why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?'

"'It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it.'

"This was beginning to be way too much fun!

"'Dude! Really?' he exclaimed.

"'How did you get to do something that COOOOL?'

"I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said, 'I'm not sure. I was the only Causasian on the mission.'

"'Dude,' he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, 'that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?'

"'Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouf**ge.'

"The moron nodded knowingly.

"'Listen man,' I said in a very serious tone, 'You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything.'

"'Oh yeah?' he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' 'Like, what's gonna happen if I do?'

"With a really hard look I said, 'You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?'

"The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time, the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

"After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

"Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.

"What a great time I had!

"Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap.

"Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat and see how long it takes to empty out the place.

"Whoever said retirement is boring? ...just needs the right kind of cap."

Theo Loc: Within 1000 miles of Tampa, Florida

Everybody knows the war of 1936 wasn't fought in 1812. What a nut he was.

Loki Loc: Georgia

I have found the looks I get when I get a box of condoms and ask one of the sales help to direct me to the fitting room to be memorable.

You could also purchase a "Smoky Bear" hat, park your car sort of semi-hidden, and point a hair dryer at traffic.

As the only Caucasian on a black op, was your code name "token?"

I have seen so many "high school graduates" who cannot even make change, or spell simple words correctly that I don't know if you are kidding or not.

MarvinSussman

Instead of listening only to Fox to get an idea of liberal thought, you ought to, once a month, try msnbc.

For a Liberal, “Liberty” means minimal regulation of personal life and adequate regulation of business: Democracy. For a Conservative, “Liberty” means minimal regulation of business and maximal regulation of personal life: F*****m.

President Coolidge best stated the conservative philosophy of government: “The chief business of the American people is business.” Wrong! Our chief business is exactly as stated in the preamble to our Constitution: “to... promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessing of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity”

Yes, there was a time when “Welfare” was a good idea and when “Posterity” was the most important concern. The Founding Liberals understood that a nation without a thriving young generation faces its doom. Care of the young is the highest priority of every animal on Earth - except the Conservative! Mother Nature is a Liberal!

The Conservative’s belief that Liberals want e******y of wealth is a self-induced hallucination. Liberals want a true e******y of opportunity for all children, regardless of parentage. To thrive, all children must get all the health care, food, shelter, and play they need and as much free education as they can absorb, from prenatal through university.

A level playing field and equal opportunity from the moment of conception are the liberal’s core beliefs. When 99% of all scientific discoveries are made by 1% of all scientists, providing excellent care and education only for children of the rich will not produce enough brilliant leaders in technology, industry, and government. If you want all the cream, you have to milk all the cows.

Because support for children by local taxes inevitably result in deprived areas, federal spending must finance all care of the young. Non-discretionary income should never be taxed and discretionary income should be taxed progressively because the rich spend progressively more than others.

Conservatives hold the opposite view. They believe children should be rewarded or punished depending on how well or how poorly they choose their parents. They want the care of the young to be financed by local taxes so that quality of education is doled out according to class and so that fundamentalist school boards can teach creationism.

Instead of taxing wealthy estates, consisting mostly of never-taxed capital gains and municipal bond interest, they would endow the least productive segment of society: children of the rich. Since Congress can be bought, wealth is power and inherited wealth is inherited power – aristocracy, the survival and triumph of the incompetent - the exact opposite of meritocracy, the exact opposite of democracy. This is dishonesty and corruption. Conservatism is a crime against Nature!

Conservatives believe the tax burden should be shifted from the rich to the middle class, from capital to labor. They would create a polarized generation: a small aristocracy and a large underclass - a lost generation. Conservatism is a complete betrayal of the Founding Liberals. Beware the f**g-waving, allegiance-pledging, chicken-hawk Conservatives!!

son of witless

In the right settings if you walk around with a pen and a clipboard pretending to be taking notes, you can flip people out.

JimMe

Please... Our Founding Fathers stated the Federal Governments' Role was to:
# 1 - Establish Justice - without Laws there is No Nation
# 2 - Insure Domestic Tranquility - uphold Our Laws
# 3 - Provide for the Common Defense - protect the States from Foreign Invasion
# 4 - Promote the General Welfare - by the Federal Government instituting the above 3 points, it would be Promoting the General Welfare of its Citizens Now and into Our Future Generations

This was the Original Reasoning for this Nation... The Socialist Agendas of the last one hundred-plus years has NOTHING to do with OUR FOUNDING FATHERS... Now, if "We the People" of the 21st Century decide to set-aside Our Founding Fathers' Principles, fine... That is Our Right... But DO NOT BE SO DEPLORABLE AS TO REINTERPRET THEIR PHILOSOPHY TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR US TO CHANGE THE USA'S APPROACH TO GOVERNING...

Socialists of the USA should simply start saying upfront that Our Constitution needs to be Dismissed & ESTABLISH A NEW CONSTITUTION...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

"The central conservative t***h is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. The central liberal t***h is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself." [quote/Daniel Patrick Moynihan.]

no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun

Great story. I will add that to the list of things to do at WalMart!

When was the War of 1812?
wars.findthedata.com/q/47/2017/When-was-the-War-of-1812
According to our research engine: The War of 1812 began in the year 1812 (Start Date: June 18, 1812). It ended in the year 1815. (End Date: February 18, 1815)

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

haha! And the war of 1812 - wasn't actually fought in 1812 either.

I like the way younger generations keep up with history, you know, because it changes all the time.

I suppose the 1936 war was the Segway war between WWI and WWII. Gotta keep those combat sk**ls honed and all.

plainlogic

Or destroy it. for every Yin there is a Yang.

MarvinSussman

The word "Welfare" is an old English word that does not and never did mean what you think it means. Look it up.

You conveniently omitted the word "Posterity". Of course, any concern for posterity, other than your own immediate family would make you vomit. You think you can face the world without any help from the society around you. That's a foolish notion. We need a nation where everybody prospers. That means good schools for all children. That means spending money on infrastructure. That means keeping up with and staying ahead of China.

It does not mean cutting the deficit, the only plank in your platform.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Self destruction is a humans basic default programing. Putting large numbers of humans together in a "society", results in that society heading towards self destruction as rapidly as possible.

The confusion between "want" and "need", is the engine that drives societies to doom. My favorite example is the Roman Empire, although it is by no means the only one available, as there are many direct parallels to our own society.

Romans excelled at science, technology, conquest and virtually everything they set their hands to. At the height of their power, they said " we're the greatest country the world has ever seen!" and tipped over from ascension to decline. They decided to bask in their glory, give themselves over to hedonistic pleasure, saying "anything goes, just have fun!" and stopped working together for the common good. They forgot that they were outnumbered by the s***es and subjugated peoples, their politicians began squabbling amongst themselves, their leaders began making more and more demands, their military became fat and lazy, their people became arrogant, lazy and demanding more and more "perks" - and they were ripe for failure - which came rather quickly.

Now, they're just another historical footnote - much the way America will be before long.

Theo Loc: Within 1000 miles of Tampa, Florida

It was during the mid to late thirties that the U.S. Army went on maneuvers in Louisiana in pr********n for war with Japan. The army men would gather around my parents table, drinking, smoking, playing cards, and discussing whether we would go to war with Russia or Japan first.

Pearl Harbor "surprise" attack? Not hardly. "Political Correctness" at work in an earlier age.

elk6x6 Loc: In the bushes by your house.

Liburals believe that you are too stupid and lazy to achieve success by your self and that the Government must do it for you.


Conservatives believe, Hey Bro., I did it, you can do it too.

elk6x6 Loc: In the bushes by your house.

Liburals believe that you are too stupid and lazy to achieve success by your self and that the Government must do it for you.


Conservatives believe, Hey Bro., I did it, you can do it too.