Elwood Loc: Florida

Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:



Life's Demerit System
...In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you h**e. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-40)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop

And that's the way it works. Doesn't seem fair but that's the way it is in the real world. :thumbup: :thumbup:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

I sure do love my dogs.
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Awesome and true.

Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop

I'm of the same opinion only at this point I don't have one. They are certainly easier on the wallet even with the vet bills. :lol: :lol:

Rufus Loc: Deep South

:thumbup: True. Plus my dogs are appreciative for any and every thing I do for them. I spoil them, but I will never give them a rib. We see how that turned out.

Rufus Loc: Deep South

:thumbup: True. Plus my dogs are appreciative for any and every thing I do for them. I spoil them, but I will never give them a rib. We see how that turned out.

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Want to really spoil them. I just finished dehydrating 4 thinly sliced sweet potatoes for my little pal. She loves them as treats and they are excellent for dog's
It's simple rufus.
1. slice thinly. I use a Manual Japanese food slicer. Amazon bought.
2. place on oven racks you've covered with foil
3. turn on oven for 4.75 hours at 185 degrees
4. Check for doneness
5. remove and bag.

Your oven may be different and probably is. Just check in on it once in awhile and make adjustments. Their best when caught just starting to turn crispy. I fill four quart sized baggies. One for fridge, three for freezer.
Stand by for doggie lovin.

If you like keep one row for yourself. Half way thru process
wipe your row with a little olive oil and salt. Sweet potato chips for you. Not your pals. They dont need the salt.
Like we do huh !!!!

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Wow. Sounds good and much cheaper than Petco. I will have to try it. Thanks ole noble and wise one. I guess that meditation stuff really works. :thumbup:

Parrothead Loc: In front of my laptop

Mine also loved carrots. I'd buy a bag of the baby carrots. Much healthier and cheaper than dog treats and I can also munch on them.

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: The things we have to put up with. :shock:

Elwood Loc: Florida

:lol: :lol: Ah, the words of experience. :thumbup: :thumbup:

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Damn. I've orchestrated the theft of another thread.
Sorry Elwood

Mine likes pumpkin pie stuffing. Only the base stuff. No additives,
No spices. She loves it. Gets a spoon full a day. ( She's a little thing ).
Very good for them. High fiber and they love it.
Hell, mine loves everything so I usually cut up fresh fruits, ( no seeds or pits)
and put some on top of her kibbles in the a.m. I steam veggies for myself
and put some on top her P.M. meals. Never much, never more than 25 or 30 % of her meals.
Fact is the only can I've opened in two years is her danged pumpkin filling. Everything else is fresh.

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

Knots. Lots of knots on my head.

Elwood Loc: Florida

I make jerky for my dogs using a dehydrator. Do you think that would work with sweet potatoes? I know we can dehydrate fruit like apples and apricots in the dehydrator and I think that it should work with sweet potatoes.