badbobby Loc: texas

lesson# 1
A man is getting into his shower when the doorbell rings.
the wife having just finished her own shower grabs a towel and runs to answer the door.
Upon opening the door she sees her next door neighbor "Bob".Then before she can say anything Bob says"I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel".After hesitating she thought 800 dollars is 8oo dollars and dropped the towel.Standing naked in front of Bob.After looking her up and down Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves.
The woman rewraps herself in her towel and goes back to the bathroom.Her husband asks "who was that"?
"It was Bob next door"she replied."Great"said the husband."Did he say anything about the 8oo dollars he owes me"?
MORAL
If you have critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your share holders,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable disclosures

lesson #2
A Priest driving to his church offered a Nun a lift.She got in and crossed her legs forcing her habit to expose her thigh.The Priest nearly had an accident and when getting the car under control he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.The Nun said"Father remember Psalm 129.the Priest apologized "I'm so sorry Sister,the flesh is weak".
Arriving at the Convent the Nun thanked the Priest for the ride Sighed and went her way.
getting to the Church the Priest hurried to look up Psalm 129."Go forth and seek "further up.You will find glory".

MORAL
If you are not well informed in your job you might miss a great opportunity.

lesson #3
A sales clerk an admin clerk and the mamager are walking to lunch when they find an old lamp.
they of course rub it and a genie pops out."each of you can have one wish"the genie informs them.
Me first exclaimed the sales clerk.I want to be in the Bahamas in a sail boat and without a care in the world"
POOF--he was gone!
"Now Me cried the admin clerk."i want to be in Hawaii relaxing on the beach with my personal massuse and the love of my life".
POOF--she was gone
"Okay ,now its your turn"the genie told the manager.
"I want both of them back at work in 30 minutes"!
MORAL
Always let your boss have the first say

lesson#4
An eagle was sitting in a tree doing nothing.A rabbit seeing the eagle asked him"Can I too sit and do nothing"?
"sure "replied the eagle."Wh**ever turns you on".
So the rabbit sat and did nothing.Then a fox pounced on him and ate him.
MORAL
To be sitting and doing nothing you must be sitting very,very high.

lesson #5
A turkey was chatting with a bull."I really would like to get up on the top limb in that tree but I just don't have the energy".
"Well peck on my droppimgs "said the bull."they are full of vitamins and nutrients".
The turkey pecked on the dung and quickly felt enough energy to fly to the top limb in the tree.
prowdly perching there he was spotted by a h****r and shot down.
MORAL
Bull s**t may get you to the top but it wont keep you there

lesson #6
A little bird flying south for the winter froze and fell to the ground.A cow came along and splattered the bird with dung.The bird realized that he was warming up and he sang joyfully.A cat hearing the song dug him out of the dung and ate him.
MORAL
not everyone who craps on you is your enemy
not everyone who gets you out of the crap you are in is your friend
and when you are in deep doo doo its best to keep your yap shut

Unclet Loc: Amarillo, Tx

:thumbup: :thumbup: Thanks for grins.

Rufus Loc: Deep South

Wow, thanks BB. I learned more in the last few minutes than in all of my 57 years. Bless you my son. Bless you.